Episode Report Card M. Giant: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If We Only Had the Nerve Gas
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 01.29.2006
It's 12:06:25 as Kiefer walks through the corridors of CTU, answering his ringing cell phone. It's Novick, of course, who tells Kiefer, "It's good to hear your voice." Yeah, a lot of that going around. Even Novick digs the Velvet. As Kiefer ducks into a quiet alcove, he returns the sentiment and expresses his sympathies about Palmer. "Yeah," Novick says, Kiefer-like, and asks what's up. Kiefer explains that they have a new lead on the nerve gas, but he can't talk about it on the phone; he wants to see Novick in person, and in secret. "I'm not comfortable with all this secrecy, Jack," Novick shies, until Kiefer says it's about Walt Cummings. Novick, seeing a possible opening to get his old job back, names a spot outside the Not Camp David compound, and Kiefer says he'll see Novick in fifteen minutes. Not Camp David is fifteen minutes from L.A.? Some retreat. No wonder Logan's worried about FLOTUS's whereabouts; if she scales the wall, she could be posing four tourist photos in front of Mann's Chinese Theater in a matter of minutes.
As Kiefer continues on his way, he's waylaid by Derek and Diane, who say they've been told they'll be able to leave CTU pretty soon. Kiefer says he already heard, which makes me think that maybe Diane's piercing shrieks of celebration rang throughout CTU while we were listening in on Walt and The Man a few minutes ago. Derek asks if Kiefer's coming with them, but Kiefer evasives that CTU still needs him. He then asks for a private moment with Diane. Derek agrees, and leaves with the Redshirt who's escorting them. Once Diane's alone with Kiefer, he just stares at her significantly until she says, "You're not coming back to us, are you?" Kiefer looks down and quietly says no. But what about the fence? Diane says she knows it's something to do with Audrey. "I could tell by the way you looked at each other," she says, like she's some master detective. In related news, I can always tell when I'm not at home in bed by the way I get run over by cars. Diane nosily asks Kiefer if he's still in love with Audrey, and he pauses before answering, "Yes." Nooo! Kiefer, she practically dumped you for her dead husband! Move on, already! Diane then asks if Audrey's in love with him, and Kiefer doesn't know. But in any case, Kiefer's got to go. She kisses him gently on the side of the mouth and they hug for a long time. "Thank you," Kiefer whispers. Come on, Kiefer, you're going to be late for your meeting. Those fifteen minutes are ticking away while you get your grope on.