Episode Report Card M. Giant: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If We Only Had the Nerve Gas
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 01.29.2006
At Not Camp David, FLOTUS is getting loaded into her limousine. "I'll see you soon," says Evelyn, and FLOTUS looks a mite taken aback to realize for the first time that her assistant isn't getting committed with her. It's like it just now occurred to her that she's going to have to dress herself, do her own hair, and take her own Thorazine. It's just one bummer after another. And here's a new one: it's Logan, whose special executive powers apparently include teleportation. He opens her door and tells her to get out of the car. Once she's out and towering over him in the driveway, Logan actually says something pretty decent here: "You were right. There was a conspiracy. David was trying to warn you, and warn me. I should have listened to you." If only there had been an "I'm sorry" in there, it would have been perfect. FLOTUS needs a moment to catch up with this turn of events, and then Logan wrecks everything by blaming Walt: "He lied to me. He convinced me that you were out of control...sending you back to the clinic in Vermont was his idea." FLOTUS is too hurt to be relieved, though, and Logan's "I'm sorry" is too late now. "Sending me away without a word, like I was a nuisance to be gotten rid of," FLOTUS says through tears of anger. And, yeah, it was pretty shitty of Logan not to have the motorcade wait until he could spare a moment to say goodbye to the missus before shipping her off to be McMurphy-ed. A red-haired Secret Service agent comes up and braces herself against the palpable waves of awkwardness coming off of the Logans in order to notify the President that a link with CTU has been set up. Logan thanks her and asks her to make sure FLOTUS's bags get back to her room. I'm sure Evelyn will be happy to see them again. Now she's going to have to take all of FLOTUS's clothes out of the suitcases, put them away again, turn off the music, put the cork back in the champagne, send away the strippers...poor Evelyn. Logan tells FLOTUS he has to go and moves in for a kiss. FLOTUS stiffly turns her face away. Logan hesitates, then goes for the cheek-kiss instead. FLOTUS barely endures it, her expression icy. Good thing Logan didn't use tongue, or he'd be stuck to her for hours.
It's 12:55:42 as McGill comes across the CTU floor asking Chloe whether they have confirmation on Kiefer's info. Chloe says there's only one freighter leaving Long Beach at 2:30. "It's a freighter heading for Central Asia leaving from Pier F." I'm no navigation whiz, but don't ships have to be more specific about their destinations than that? And for that matter, isn't Central Asia, simply by virtue of being "Central," more or less landlocked? Good thing I'm not a freighter captain, I guess. Chloe adds that there aren't any CTU teams in the area, "but we've got Customs and Border Patrol on-site under our directive." Oh, that's what CBP is. Yes, I live in a border state, but it's a different border, okay? We have people trying to get out instead of in. McGill tells Chloe to make sure to describe the containers to the CBP guys, but Chloe impatiently points out that they don't know which of the thousand containers on that ship is going to be holding the gas. So...hold the ship, maybe? I'm just thinking out loud, here. And then Edgar steps up and says, "Container 539146, box seven." Dude! Edgar, bringing the kung-fu! He explains that he hacked into the ship's manifest and that's the only container listed as carrying medical supplies. McGill, impressed, tells Edgar to pass that along to all the strike force teams. Audrey, on the phone, chimes in to say that the White House wants to watch the live video feed of the assault. McGill says Chloe will patch it through.
Kiefer's in Logan's Situation Room at Not Camp David (presumably still carrying his scary-ass knife on his person), confirming that the photo on the screen that CTU sent over is indeed Yellow Tie. CTU has dug up Yellow Tie's backstory, so Buchanan explains to Kiefer that Yellow Tie is a University of St. Petersburg-trained chemical engineer who joined his country's separatist movement six years ago. Kiefer asks if they have any better images or file photos of Yellow Tie, and Buchanan says no, which is why they'll need Kiefer to ID Yellow Tie remotely via the video feed. He doesn't explain how they found out who Yellow Tie was in the first place, though. Kiefer reminds Buchanan that they need to take Yellow Tie alive. Buchanan tells Kiefer to stand by. Logan enters the Situation Room, and Kiefer tells him that they're just waiting for the video feed to come up. Is anybody ever going to remember to let Novick out of whatever broom closet they locked him in?