Episode Report Card M. Giant: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If We Only Had the Nerve Gas
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 01.29.2006
"I'm done talking with you, you understand me? Now, you've read my file. First thing I'm gonna do is take out your right eye. Then I'm going to move over and I'll take out your left. And then I'm going to cut you. I'm going to keep cutting you until you give me the information that I need, you understand me? So for the last time, where is the nerve gas?"
I think that's the longest speech Kiefer's made all season, and it came after the words "I'm done talking." But then, David Fury used to write dialogue for Angelus, didn't he? So it all makes sense. Walt continues to plead ignorance, while Logan looks at Aaron in horror. Aaron just looks back at his boss impassively. Finally, instead of just jabbing the knife forward into Walt's cornea, Kiefer turns him around and presses the blade under his eye socket. For some reason, that's what convinces Walt that Kiefer's not bluffing or stalling, and he starts singing: "It's on a freighter leaving the port of Long Beach at 2:30...in a container carrying medical supplies." Kiefer demands the container number, and looks about ready to take out Walt's eye for not knowing it, but Logan yells, "Mr. Bauer!" For once, Logan's words have the desired effect, and Kiefer releases Walt before calling CTU on his cell phone.
It's 12:45:53 as Kiefer gets through to Buchanan, McGill, and Audrey in the CTU situation room and puts them on speakerphone. He reports what he just learned from Walt, adding in the fact that the ship is bound for "Central Asia," which Walt didn't actually tell him. Why does Kiefer always need to torture people when he can just read their minds? Buchanan rather inappropriately changes the subject to his petty little interagency turf battle -- namely, the order they received to hand over the search for the nerve gas. "Disregard the order," Logan says decisively. Audrey's already alerting CBP (whatever that is), and Buchanan reminds her to get hazmat and medical teams to the port. Audrey's on it. You think she knew when she came in this morning to act as "DoD liaison" that she'd end up running logistics while all the CTU staff was away at lunch? McGill asks Kiefer if he's coming back to CTU now. With a significant look at Logan, Kiefer says he doesn't know. Buchanan ends the call with a promise to let Kiefer know when they have more.
Now, with the immediate crisis over, Kiefer says that he and Aaron are prepared to turn themselves in. They both put their badges and weapons on the counter. Logan quietly tells Aaron to "Take back your shield and get Walt Cummings out of my sight." Aaron obeys, but I'm a little disappointed that Logan doesn't tell him to leave his gun. Aaron nods at the other two agents who have somehow appeared to flank Walt, and the three of them lead the evil Chief of Staff out of the room. And now, at 12:47:33, the President of the United States is alone in the room with the heavily armed freelance psychopath. Great job, Secret Service. ["There's a Cheney joke here somewhere but I can't seem to reach it." -- Sars] Logan somehow feels the need to make a bunch of excuses to Kiefer. "I trusted Walt Cummings," he insists. "He lied to me. I was coerced." Kiefer sniffs and looks down, his respect for Logan's office clearly the only thing that's keeping his mouth shut right now. Oh, never mind what I said a few sentences ago; there's still a Secret Service agent in there with them. I'm sure he's totally a match for Kiefer, too. Logan has something else he'd like to talk about with Kiefer: "You. The fact that you're alive presents problems for both of us." I suppose it's true that Kiefer wouldn't have any problems if he were dead, but it's still kind of a rude remark. But Kiefer agrees: "I accomplished what I set out to do, which was to identify and locate David Palmer's killer." he says. And before the season is six hours old, no less. He just wants to stick around until the nerve gas is recovered, and then he'll vanish again. Logan thinks that's a good plan. "For the good of the country," he adds, as if anyone ever believes him when he says that. He shakes Kiefer's hand and says, "Thank you, Mr. Bauer." Kiefer thanks him right back, and picks up his cell phone and scary-ass knife on his way out the door, which the Secret Service agent opens for him. Out in the hallway, Kiefer turns back as if to say, "I never voted for you," but then remembers that nobody did, and holds his peace. You suppose we'll ever find out what happened to Keeler after his plane crash? Whatever his personal flaws may have been, there was a President who knew how to fill a conference table. The Secret Service agent follows Kiefer out, and Logan's alone with his thoughts. Which, to recycle an old joke, must be pretty damn lonely. It's 12:49:14.
12:53:42. Kiefer is uncharacteristically standing around, Logan is uncharacteristically active (at least in the sense that he's walking across the room), Chloe makes her second appearance of the episode, and people bustle around CTU. None of them is Curtis, who must be taking an episode off. That's only prudent for a Handsome Black Agent, regular cast member or no.