Episode Report Card Demian: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If Death Doesn't Become Her, Will It At Least Shut Her Up?
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.09.2004
...the real alleyway, where Phoebe loses her shit until she's clocked in the teeth by a free-floating premonition. Rotten Scott Farkus wrestles with Harriet for a bit in an unknown location until she hauls off and smacks him across the face. She turns to flee, but he conjures a Flaming Ball Of Death that he launches in her direction. The FBOD flies through the air towards her screaming face as Phoebe snaps out of it. Shocked, she quickly tells the Dolt what just happened, guessing that she somehow earned back "at least one" of her powers. Because she cried for all of three seconds over Raige's corpse. Nice one, Elders. Not. Phoebe pries the vanquishing vial from Raige's rapidly stiffening fingers and announces, "We have to save Harriet."
Not!warts. Rotten Scott Farkus, having acquired Raige's powers when he killed her, has transported himself to the Not-So-Great Hall, where he is now menacing the perpetually imperiled Harriet. He conjures another FBOD as the Dolt orbs in behind him with Phoebe. Phoebe immediately hurls the vanquishing vial into Scott's back, and a swirling, buzzing cloud of brimstone erupts around his frame as his body bursts into flame from his feet up. Harriet dashes around the blazing half-demon to cower behind the Dolt. The flames eventually consume Rotten Scott Farkus entirely and billow up towards the ceiling. When they've vanished, we discover a de-demonized Scott still standing at the center of the room. "I'm human!" he wails before promptly dropping dead. Because people can now drop dead in Not!warts. I hate this stupid show. Death materializes to smirk, "Interesting how our paths keep crossing, isn't it?" as Scott's soul pops out of his twisted corpse. For some increasingly distracting and annoying reason, Harriet can still see all of this. For some even more distracting and annoying reason, Phoebe's suddenly an expert on the rules Death must obey, and also knows that Rotten Scott Farkus's name is not on Death's list. Just go with it. Please? There are only four minutes left. In any event, as Rotten Scott's unscheduled death would somehow screw with The Balance Of Things, she and the Dolt propose a trade: Raige's soul for Scott's. Death, instead of smiting all of these idiots on the spot, simply remarks that "it's been an unusual day" before tacitly agreeing to the deal.
Meanwhile, over on The Ghastly Plane, Raige has quite fortuitously not moved on, choosing instead to confess that she stole one of Piper's favorite jackets. And a pair of earrings. And a...oh, it doesn't matter, for Death has finally arrived with the soul of Rotten Scott Farkus, which Death backhands into the portal. The portal snaps shut once Scott's disappeared, and in response to the ladies' dumbfounded expressions, Death simply states, "See you." Heh. I like Death. And that makes me sound like some freakish Goth loser, so I'll keep this moving along to note that Death dematerializes for the last time this episode. Presently, Raige's essence vanishes from The Ghastly Plane to reanimate her corpse, which Phoebe and the Dolt ever so thoughtfully left where it fell. In a filthy rat-infested alleyway. Fuckers.