Episode Report Card Demian: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If Death Doesn't Become Her, Will It At Least Shut Her Up?
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.09.2004
Meanwhile, over in the city morgue, the camera pans past several pairs of toe-tagged feet before landing on those belonging to Piper. Piper's toes suddenly curl, and she shudders and squirms to life beneath the tasteful linen sheet they've placed over her body. She pushes herself into sitting position a bit groggily and glances about the room for a bit before gasping in surprise when she spots Kerr Smith lounging quite causally in a wheelchair in the corner, the outfit she'd been wearing earlier in the day folded neatly in his lap -- but I'm sure he had some girl fold it for him, because he is So Totally Not That Way. "Talk about your miracle recoveries," he deadpans -- geddit? -- as he rises to pass Piper her clothing. "What are you doing here?" she squints. "Confirming magic exists," he replies as he ambles around behind her to lift the sheet on the body the next slab over. And he already knew magic exists, and she knows that he already knew magic exists, so whatever. Wake me up when any of this becomes important. "What do you want?" Piper plugs on, not listening to me as she clutches her clothes against her chest defensively. Kerr Smith wants "to help [Piper] get out of this mess." "I want to tell the local authorities that you were working undercover for me," he continues. "I want to tell them that I asked you to fake your own death." Wow. Are the cops in San Francisco really that stupid? Oh, wait a minute. Darryl. I guess they are. "What's the catch?" Piper wants to know. "The catch," Kerr replies, choosing his words carefully, "is that I'm going to need your help with something even greater." Piper gapes. "I'll be in touch," Kerr adds, stepping out of the frame as the camera lingers on Piper's bug-eyed glare for a moment before the shot dissolves into...
...this evening's closing travelogue, which carries us above the city as night melts into day. Over on Prescott Street, Sparklies hesitantly approaches the Manor's front door, and so totally not caring, and why hasn't Nick Lachey ended up at the bottom of a ravine by now? Phoebe arrives, dressed in a rather modest white off-the-shoulder top over an ankle-length pink paisley-patterned skirt I'm sure I've seen before. Her hair's distressingly yanked down into two ugly pigtails, and she neglected to remember a slip, so her bony pins are clearly visible through the skirt's light material. God, she's gross. The two of course blather on endlessly about their nonexistent relationship issues, but we do learn that evidently, news of Piper's "undercover work" for Homeland Security has spread throughout the city. That's about it, really. They hug, and One! More! Episode! Just One More Episode until he's gone for good! Hooray!