Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Frankly, You Morons, I Don't Give A Rat's Ass
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.06.2006
ANY-way, where was I? Oh, yeah: While I've been babbling on, Ugly Rufus has conjured a shimmery screen from the glowing disk atop the dais, and what's this? It's Mangy Jesus and Big Gay Chris! Hooray! Our Darling Boys run through one of the scenes set in The Dead-Eyed Psycho's future dystopia for Maggot Neck's benefit. Some on the boards have argued that Fugly Rufus shouldn't have access to this bit between the adult brothers, because Big Gay Chris managed to alter the timeline and ensured that Mangy Jesus would grow up to be Boring, and therefore this dialogue never will take place. I would like to remind those people that I have always believed Big Gay Chris returned to the past only to die in vain, and I'll leave it at that. By the way, the purpose of this flash-forward, apparently, was to shatter Maggot Neck's remaining resistance to Chrissssty's whole Death-To-The-Halliwells thing, which, as you'll recall from the Retard's earlier scene, is based on her reluctance to harm Piper's children, even tangentially by, oh, slaughtering their mother like a pig. I hate this show. Save me, Boring Jesus! Alas, I receive no answer from him, and so am forced to note that after a few "tension"-"filled" moments, Maggot Neck rejects Chrissssty and Fugly Rufus's arguments, and waddles her oddly proportioned ass out of there. Fugly Rufus sends Chrissssty after her, turns to face the glowing disk once the black chamber's door's closed, and fuck. ME. The Triad pops up out of the glowing disk. You know, the three guys from the middle of the season? The three guys Cole killed five years ago? The three guys The Manor Morons and Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty killed again in the last couple of months? Yeah. THOSE FUCKERS. God, I hate this show. Thank Christ it's CANCELLED! The Triad chides Fugly Rufus for...whatever; Fugly Rufus looks tense because...I don't care; and this stupid, awful, stupid, evil episode finally, at long last, limps into the first commercial break.
Back from the break, we pick up right where we left off, and here's what you need to know from the endless chatter that follows: The Triad is actually in some sort of demonic limbo, from which it'll be freed once The Manor Morons and The Sisters Retard off each other. After that happens, they'll elevate Fugly Rufus to Triad status as a reward for his fifteen years' worth of work on the entire project. You got all that? Good. Either Candor or Asmodeus or Fat Guy With The Stupid Earring hears someone approaching the black chamber, and the various demonic sorts present vanish in various ways as The Man From Another Place and The C.S.I. Piñata sneak into the room from the hall. The annoying little fuckers quickly sense that something's not quite right in the black chamber, so The Man From Another Place sets a crock of magical trouser nuggets down on the floor and incants the following: