Episode Report Card Omar G: C+ | 2 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Meta-stasized
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.24.2007
Oliver's clock-tower hideaway. Lana and Christina are there together, Christina in another low-cut blouse. She says she's sorry for what Lana saw at the loft. But she stops short of offering to re-enact it here with Lana. "Rehearsing lines?" Lana says playfully. Christina looks a tiny bit guilty, and then says that it's in Clark's eyes that Lana is the center of his universe. Ugh. That's a pretty crap universe. Christina says that she's only seen love like that once before. Lana asks what happened. "The director yelled, 'Cut!,'" she says. PA Guy enters, and says he's got updated call sheets. How secret can this hideout be if the whole film crew has access? Lana doesn't even get up from the couch. Christina complains about having to work all the time, and then asks how the guy found her. "Destiny," he says. He attacks Christina with a stun gun. She goes down instantly. Lana tries to run. She breaks a vase on PA Guy. He tackles Lana and tells her that Clark is a hero and that there's only one way he'll accept his calling: "You need to die." Dude, I've been sayin'! But I don't think it'll really happen. He stuns her while holding onto her, which doesn't seem wise. Wouldn't he get shocked, too? Lana goes down. PA Guy's work is never done.
Daily Planet. Clark and Chloe are still trying to figure out the mystery. They're debating whether PA Guy is right in wanting Clark to follow his destiny. Chloe asks if Clark wants her editorial on the subject, or if Clark wants to help find the guy who's going to "out" him in front of a thousand people. Trapped in the closet! Clark offers Chloe a hard drive. Instead of searching the hard drive, Chloe suggests that they loosen a few screws of their own to think like him. Clark says a line that probably looked a lot better on paper than it sounds coming out of his mouth: "Approach his next move like someone who's blurred the line between fiction and reality." Ha! Sorry, Clark, but that may be the worst line reading I've ever heard on this show. So awful. So cheesy. Chloe asks what the worst thing she could do to Warrior Angel would be if she were Devilicus. Clark thinks. Hard. He sees a photo of Christina on the desk. "Lana!" he whispers. Nooooo! Man, Clark and Chloe are really slow with jumping to conclusions this week. This one was a gimme.
Cut to Oliver's place. PA Guy is carrying Lana to the balcony. He sits her on the ledge: "Don't you see? Clark was made for a greater glory!" He explains that until Clark gives up his desires and decides to save the world, thousands of lives are at stake. You can't really argue with that logic. "And mine doesn't matter?" asks Lana, about her own life. Aw, selfish as always. PA Guy says he knows it's not easy being a superhero's girlfriend (from experience?) but that Clark has to face his destiny alone. He says that Lana's standing in the way. Dude, it's Season 7. We've all just learned to accept that Lana ruined the show a long time ago, and there's no time left for redemption. Clark whooshes into the scene and checks Christina's pulse just as PA Guy throws Lana off the balcony. Weird shot of Lana falling, looking pretty calm and facing the sky. Clark jumps off the balcony and sails down, trying to make his body a bullet. He straightens himself and catches Lana. They both continue to plunge. Lana stares into his eyes. Clark stares back lovingly. They land on someone's van with a crash. I wonder if Lana will be paying for that with her $10 million. Clark and Lana nuzzle, but don't kiss.