Episode Report Card Omar G: C+ | 2 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Meta-stasized
By Omar G | Season 7 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.24.2007
Daily Planet. Clark is walking down the stairs to the basement, where Chloe is alone. She says that working overtime at least keeps her from gracing Jimmy's MySpace page. Is it just me, or is Chloe completely losing it? Clark reveals that the superfan must have seen him catch the bullet; he's the only one who knew the ammo was real. Clark shows Chloe the comic. Chloe says that this guy's blog gets ten thousand hits a day; one post from him, and Clark will be everyone's favorite "Boy Wonder." Clark asks if Chloe can track the comic book to its owner. Here's what I don't get: wouldn't it be a lot easier to track a blog owner or message-board poster than it would be to track down the buyer of one comic book, which might have been paid for in cash at any comic-book store in the world? Chloe says that when she was researching blogs, she came across a guy who keeps track of Warrior Angel comic sales. Again, I call bullshit. This could be a comic someone purchased years ago and just happened to have in his collection. Chloe taps about ten keys on her computer and, of course, gets a return instantly. Cosmic Comics in Metropolis sold one to a guy named Ben Meyers in Metropolis the week before. So they're filming the Warrior Angel movie just hours away, and only one comic has been sold recently? You know, I'd rather you just skipped this scene and put up a title card that read, "Chloe somehow tracks down the stalker" and been done with it. Because this scene is just hurting my brain and possibly taking years off my life. Chloe gives Clark an address, even. Wow, comic-book stores sure do keep careful records. Clark squints at the computer monitor. He smells bullshit, too.
At the comic-book geek's place. A scary alien head. A comic put up on display. Action figures! The horror, the horror! Clark whooshes into the home that fandom built. "I knew you'd find me," says a voice. Get ready to make love to a geek, Clark. I'm half-expecting the guy to be in a bed, naked, surrounded by commemorative pogs. The PA Guy appears on a smallish computer monitor. He says that only a real hero would have found him. Or a mediocre private investigator. Clark recognizes him as the PA from the movie. He asks where he is. Clark asks where he is (up your butt, fool), and whether he's the one behind the attacks. "Warrior Angel was all I had," says PA Guy, who looks like he's falling apart. He adds that he needed a hero. Clark reminds him that his hero wouldn't just kill someone. PA Guy says that you can't mess with someone's idol, that's why there are no heroes anymore. Huh? Dude, make some sense. Better yet, get laid! PA Guy says that he's going to make Clark stand up and save the world the way Devilicus did Warrior Angel: "You need help. You just don't know it yet." He pushes a button, and the screen goes to static, which makes no sense on a computer monitor with a Webcam, but whatever. Clark stares at the static, as confused as I am, before blinking out of the trance.
Marilyn's scary shack. Lex comes in, brandishing a gun. He passes the plants. Sees Papa Luthor back in the bed. Goes to help him. "You're still alive," Lex notes. "I never gave up on you." He tries to get Papa Luthor free. Papa wearily asks, "Lex, why did you do this?" "But I see you've given up on me," replies Lex, disappointed. Marilyn appears, cocking her shotgun. Lex holds his hands up and pivots around. Hasn't Marilyn learned to watch her back yet? Marilyn says that she's read about the Luthors, and that Papa would rather have his other wrist "broke" than be saved by Lex. Papa Luthor, of course, attacks Marilyn from behind with a mighty grunt. They never learn, these one-shot villains. He begins to beat the crap out of her, punching her over and over. Lex says, "Dad." Papa keeps pounding on the probably dead woman. "Dad. DAD!" Lex yells. Papa Luthor keeps with the killing. It's pretty disturbing. Papa Luthor finally stops. And then he punches twice more. Daaaaamn! Lex is not thrilled. Papa Luthor looks up, his face all bloody and scary.