Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT A Report On The Party & Guests
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 08.07.2012
BUSY BUSY BUSINESSWOMEN HAVE A FRANK TALK ABOUT BUTTS
Emily: "Sorry I'm in such a state, but I was watching endless videos of my dead girlfriend talking utter and complete nonsense. And then you walk in here dressed like the Mayor of a small town in a Western, even though it's the middle of the night..."
Paige: "My grandfather passed away when I was fifteen. Whatever they tell you, I had nothin' to do with it. He had this outrageous sense of humor. So last spring, my mom was cleaning out the basement -- sometimes she does things without asking permission first, it gives her a sense of control in our otherwise micromanaged existence -- and she found this old home video. My dad had bought her a camcorder for Christmas -- this would have been about 1982, right around when Maya St. Germain was getting her Bachelor's -- and everyone was passing it around and being silly, and by the time it got to my grandpa Allan... He just mooned the camera! We're talking 70-year-old-man-butt, full frame, and there was a tattoo. It was a tulip."
They laugh. Butts! If Spencer had been there she would have been like, "Tattoos are an affront to your upbringing," and then waited until he was asleep. Actually, I bet that tulip tattoo is going to mean something someday. "Butt tattoos of a tulip were the insignia of the original NAT Club founded in the 1880s! This shit goes all the way to the top!"
Paige: "Anyway. Sometimes it's like... His butt is still here. Somewhere. That butt is still with me. So I get it."
Emily, nestled: "Paige? How did your grandfather feel about ... the elements?"
EZRALUNDERFORD FITZINGSON
Ezra: "Hey, Aria! I left my phone in the house..."
Aria: "I know. Also, what the fuck about Maggie?"
Ezra: "Go inside and stop asking me things."
Aria: "No, girl. That is not how this goes."
The Maggie Deal, Part II. It was the summer after graduation, not actually in high school. He went to Diane because he was so scared and Maggie was so scared, and Diane was like, "I'll handle it." And they never found all the pieces of Maggie, but Diane wasn't exactly lying.
Ezra: "I was going to go to Vassar, but then that suddenly became too close to home. Because of all the sexual dysfunction that is there. So I transferred to Hollis. and became a Fitz."
Aria: "And Maggie?"
Ezra: "Food for the worms. Come inside."