Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's Absurd! It's A Bane! It's Supertard!
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.12.2005
Meanwhile, back at the warehouse, Phoebe's blowing the dust off a pair of boxing gloves while hagging something into her cell phone about the separate coffee and dinner dates she has scheduled for later that afternoon. Raige, wearing nothing more than her flimsy camisole top and fluttery black slacks, outdoors, in San Francisco, in January, is on the other end of the line, standing in the middle of a graffiti- and garbage-infested "Skid Row," waiting for her charge to appear. By the way, Raige has donned her favorite pair of oversized Jackie O sunglasses to appear less conspicuous, and yeah. They're working as well as they did the last time we saw them, which is to say not at all. Long story short, her new, teenaged (aw! No sex for Raige! I hope) charge is "at a crossroads," and Raige is "supposed to help him figure out how to make the right choice." When the charge starts getting roughed up by the "felon" -- Raige's word, not mine -- he'd been chatting to, Raige cuts the call short to intervene, much to Phoebe's outraged aggravation. Over in the alleyway with the charge and the felon, career criminal "Donnie" warns future Whitelighter "Speed" that, should the latter not "drive," he'll find himself in a world of pain, or something. They're not being terribly forthcoming with the relevant details, I must admit. Raige hustles over to chase Donnie away, and it works. Despite the fact that he looks like he could snap her scrawny white neck like a twig with one flick of his wrist and the fact that she's dressed like a moderately priced call-girl at the moment.
There follows a tiresome exchange between Raige and Speedle Dee Dee until the latter takes off down the sidewalk when a battered brown sedan squeals around the far corner. Speedle Dee Dee attempts to scale a chain-link fence, but the sedan's driver rams his ancient bumper into the fence's base, knocking Speedle Dee Dee onto his back on the car's hood. The leather-jacketed driver leaps from the front seat, and it's Ivan Sergei, and believe it or not, he's remarkably non-annoying during the brief scene that follows. Ivan yanks Speedle Dee Dee off the car's hood and slams the kid against the fence to frisk him for weapons while Raige clatters up from behind to yell about calling the police and such. Ivan tosses Speedle Dee Dee back onto the hood and, right before he cuffs the juvenile delinquent, flashes Raige a badge. "You're a parole officer?" she bleats. "Look at that," Ivan snarks as he pushes the now-manacled Speedle Dee Dee towards the back seat of the car, "your girlfriend can read!" Heh. After Ivan's flipped Speedle Dee Dee into the car and slammed shut the door, he pauses, eyes Raige up and down for a second, and offers her the following piece of advice: "I wouldn't hang around down here, lady, if I were you." He glances at her camisole and pointedly adds, "Not dressed like that." Hee. Raige gets all flustered as Ivan slides back behind the wheel of his trashy sedan and peels on out of there. Raige, as subtly as she can -- which isn't terribly subtly at all, of course -- edges out of the frame. That was a fun scene.