Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's Absurd! It's A Bane! It's Supertard!
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.12.2005
...the nonexistent attic, for a brief scene in which it becomes apparent that The Retard's fallen under the spell of her tacky accessory. She receives a "call" and superspeeds on out of there...
...through the main hallway and past the broken front door -- which InvisiDolt had been shimmying back into place, despite the fact that anyone ambling by on Prescott Street below could have looked up and seen a goddamned door floating around in the air seemingly of its own accord, because absolutely everyone on this show is an abject moron -- in the process knocking InvisiDolt and door to the floor, where InvisiDolt feebly cries for help. Are we done with this shit yet?
Dammit! Meanwhile, over in Pirate Alley, That Brute and his henchdemons have cornered a tiny blonde thing we last saw squeezed into little more than a blazing corset way back during "Show Ghouls." As the actress is a professional gymnast, I'm guessing she was the doxy who took the slow-motion header over the exploding balcony in that episode, and she puts those same somersaulting skills to use here as she flips through one dodge after another as That Brute and his henchdemons unleash spray after spray of sporking electricity in her general direction. Eventually, Supertard arrives on the scene to make with the unbearably lispy threats. Asshole. That Brute tosses a bolt at Supertard's head, but she deflects the thing with a bit of the tacky accessory's power, or whatever, and it ricochets back to vanquish all three of the henchdemons. Supertard then hurls a lightning bolt of her own at That Brute's shoulder, winging the demon and forcing him to squiggle away in a strategic retreat. Supertard next simpers something asinine that makes me want to snatch her up by her maggoty throat and throttle her all the way into the next commercial break. Talent-free mutant FROM HELL.
Manor. Piper and Phoebe lean the busted front door up against the wall as InvisiDolt grumbles something about his sad state of affairs before Supertard superspeeds back into the hallway, in the process knocking that damned door back to the floor. Supertard then mewls something inane about "scratching [her] pretty belt," and I want to die. Long story short, the belt flares up to infect Piper and the Feebs with a bit of its male-bashing mojo, and the ladies react accordingly. InvisiDolt issues an appropriate warning which goes unheeded as the much-abused grandfather clock chimes the hour, which reminds Supertard of her mindbendingly nonsensical midterm for whatever reason. Supertard prepares to superspeed on out of there. Before she leaves, however, Piper, ever mindful of her nightclub's need for a Special Guest Ovary that evening, convinces Supertard to reverse the invisibility thing, as InvisiDolt does have that golf date to attend later that afternoon. Once Supertard's vanished, the effects upon the Manor Morons of her tacky accessory wane, and the ladies realize something wacky's afoot in Halliwell Manor. They determine to stop The Retarded Bimbo, whatever the cost. Or something like that. Yawn.