Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Lost Me
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.30.2002
Lair Of The Ludland. Tywer lies unconscious on a bier, ice crystals crusting his clothing, his skin, and his nasty-ass bowl cut. Ludland passes his hands over the dweeb's form, chanting something about serving The Source. With Phoebe, Raige, and the Dolt in tow, Piper blasts her way through the door to confront Ludland. She flings her hands out again, and Ludland's shoulder appears to dissolve in a cloud of demonic goop. Ludland snipers to the floor behind his desk as Raige pulls out the Power of Three vanquish she composed for the occasion. The Ps recite:
The brutal winter
Gives way to flowers of spring.
Ludlow is vanquished.
Ludland unhinges his jaw to howl and explodes, stomach first.
To be completely honest with you, the first time I saw this, I joined Piper and Phoebe in making "the hell?" faces at the spell. "Dude," said I to myself, "that neither scans nor makes any attempt whatsoever to rhyme. They're not even trying anymore." Phoebe voices this opinion for me: "What the hell was that?" Raige replies, "A haiku! I couldn't do the rhyming thing." BWA! HA! Excellent. The Dolt steps up to lay a little of the Whitelighter tingly touch on the frigid dweeb. Once the dweeb pinks up a bit, the gang heads back to the Manor.
Manor kitchen. Piper presents Tywer with a glass of Hull Clean. Actually, it's a binding potion she cooked up at Tywer's request. He sucks it down and belches. "Say, 'Excuse me,'" Piper orders. Tywer complies. Piper smiles, "Ludlow was right. No one teaches manners anymore." The Dolt instructs Tywer to try to burn something. The dweeb concentrates for a moment on the kitchen table, but nothing happens. "I didn't hurt it!" he enthuses. Well, of course not, you dickhead. It's an inanimate object. The Dolt beams. Shut up, Dolt. Tywer exits to hit the Gameboy, and it's time for the Weekly Summation. Raige found a good foster family near the Manor for Tywer, which is fine by Piper. Not only does she intend to keep up with the kid's progress, but she also wants to be nearby should he wish to reverse the binding spell at some point in the future. She also learned something from Tywer's rampage through their lives. She can now appreciate "the wisdom in [Grams's] decision" to bind the Ps' powers all those many years ago. Grams "realized that children shouldn't live in fear," Piper explains. "They need to feel safe to explore and learn and grow." Piper realizes that Grams deferred the gift of their powers in favor of the gift of "a normal childhood. The gift of innocence." It's sick-making when you read it, but Holly Marie Combs sells the hell out of it. Piper and the Dolt embrace.