Episode Report Card Shack: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT What Shack needs now is a frickin' break!
By Shack | Season 2 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.18.2003
Now it's Clay's turn to sing something we've already heard before. Clay sings "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me," which is a perfect song for him, what with it being ridiculously over the top anyway. He tilts his head back and belts and smirks and sings and belts and pops his head around. The audience loves it. I realized that the reason my recaps seem to be getting shorter is because they sound the same every single time, and I'm running out of interesting ways to say it. The wad is about all but shot.
Commercials. When we return, there's still more time to kill in this pointless hour. Let's take some questions from "random" audience members. Much like how the finalists picked their songs "randomly" last week. A woman asks Ruben who he'd like to perform with when he becomes a "star." He reveals that he wants to do a duet with Tamyra Gray. In fact, it sounds like he did do a duet with Tamyra, for some song called "If This World Were Mine." Well, how lucky that this audience member just happened to ask him about it. Some girl softballs a question to Clay about what he finds most appealing about becoming the American Idol. Clay wants to have "influence." Oh, heaven spare me from performers with aspirations of influence. I want to make the world a better place with my talented epiglottis! People should be nice to each other! Stop being so mean! Hey, are you listening to me? Don't switch over to Eminem! Come back! Ryan challenges Clay on this, not understanding how somebody couldn't devote his life to drinking in any second of fame available. Clay responds that he certainly wouldn't turn down fame and fortune, but people pick a job because they enjoy it. Not because of the money. Yes, those folks down at the chicken processing plant working twelve hours a day for minimum wage look really happy. Some hunky chipster named Dan with really, really nice arms (What? Shut up) asks Randy, "What's up, dawg?" Randy says he's chillin'. That's not the actual question. He asks Randy what advice he has for the other two judges. Randy has nothing of importance to say. Paula's fine. Simon needs a tan. Ryan throws the question over to Paula. She's equally incomprehensible. She thinks Randy is fine, and her suggestion for Simon is, "Whatever." Which, coincidentally, is what Paula's doctor has written on her prescription orders. Simon's advice, predictably, is "Listen to me."
Ryan runs back up to the stage and pulls Ruben and Clay back to the stage. Ryan's going to flip a coin to determine who goes first. Ruben calls it. He calls heads. It's tails. Clay gets to choose. Clay chooses to go last, the final spot being the prime real estate for glory-note whores. Are we done? No, not really. We are, but we're not.