Episode Report Card Shack: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT What Shack needs now is a frickin' break!
By Shack | Season 2 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.18.2003
Now it's time to prop up a failing reality show. Ryan heads down to the audience to introduce us to that bimbo nitwit from Mr. Personality and her two moronic suitors. They're wearing their stupid masks, even though by this point, everybody, including the bimbo, knows what they look like. Ryan also, clearly, has never seen this show and doesn't know who these idiots are. It's like when David Letterman has the folks from Survivor on. Ryan asks her whom she's going to pick. Bimbo doesn't say anything, clearly expecting the audience to shout out responses. Dead silence. Crickets chirp. Nobody fucking cares. Hysterical. She actually has to encourage the audience to cast their vote. Which they do, limply. I don't think they're even shouting out names or anything. Just cheering. Then Ryan turns it around to ask her who is going to win American Idol, because nobody gives a flying shit who she's actually going to pick for anything. And since we don't cover Mr. Personality for the site, I'll give you a quick recap of the entire series: Nobody is beaten to death with a tire iron. Recapper's grade: F-. There's more blather about how Bimbo could only choose who would win if they sang in masks. Shut up, Bimbo.
Next up is a collection of C-list celebrities casting their votes in a clip show. Amanda Bynes loves Ruben. Jamie Kennedy votes Ruben. Lisa Ann Walter -- who the hell is Lisa Ann Walter? She votes for Clay. Frankie Muniz says his "girlfriend" loves Clay. Yeah, that wasn't your girlfriend I saw drooling over Clay at the X2 premiere, was it, Frankie? Was it? Shannon Elizabeth is rooting for Ruben.
Commercials. When we return, Ryan's back in the audience. Ryan says that they brought back all of the finalists accept for Josh, because he's on "active duty." I think that's code for "doing ten thousand laps for making the Marines look pudgy." Oh, and Corey's not there either, of course, though there's no mention of that. It's like he never existed. I can't say I oppose the idea. Anyway, they did fish Vanessa Olivarez and Charles Grigsby out from the rug they swept them under and allowed them back to sing along with "What The World Needs Now." Again. Jesus. Kill me. Anyway, it all sounds like it did last time. Schroeder plays the piano. Trenyce is dressed crazy, of course. So is Vanessa. Ruben appears to be wearing yellow pajamas. Kimberly Caldwell is back in her trashy curls rather than the femullet. Rickey's got a goatee. Unsurprisingly, Kim Caldwell stares into the camera during the chorus, even though everybody else is looking in the opposite direction over the piano. Hi, I'm Kimberly! Look, a camera! I'm on TV! Hi! I'm Kimberly! Hi! Julia still gets that stupid final word as her entire solo. Hee!