Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Pirates of the Implants
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.16.2003
Finally, commercials! My ass fell asleep; I think some Saumur-Champigny from Hayes and Vine might wake it up a bit. Better get a case, just on the possibility that my ass shows signs of nodding off again.
Reed notes that the cloaking field around the Bad Breath Star is very large: "Whoever built this thing went to a great deal of trouble to conceal it." Well, can you blame them? The design is derivative, the color unimaginative, and the sheen just screams Dada-ist cliché. I mean, I think it's pretty obvious that the artist is over-compensating for something. Quantum says he wants to find out why the Osaarians spent eight hours there, and asks T'Pol for the interior results she can't get because their sensors are befuddled. Quantum wants them to look for a welcome mat.
Enterprise orbits.
T'Pol finds a doorbell that's made of the same stuff the Osaarians hull was made up of. Enterprise can't fit through, but a sh'pod can. And will.
Sh'pod. May-Commented-Out is behind the wheel, and the Uh-Ohs are in the back perfecting their brush strokes. Reed fusses over some technicalities and finds the locking mechanism. Quantum fires at the locking mechanism, and the doors open. That was pretty damn easy. I think the Bad Breath Star needs to call Brinks Home Security. The sh'pod flies in. There are multi-level cool effects inside, but I always have a hard time making out exactly what some of these things are supposed to be from such a distant vantage point. They find some modules with a breathable atmosphere and dock. "Let's hope nobody is home," Reed comments. I was saying that when you guys went in without knocking first -- how is it that this thing isn't fully loaded with masses of tripwires, alarms, and the like? They blowtorch their way through another door and walk around. Quantum notes the piles of stuff inside and says, "They've been busy." He orders everyone to search all the modules for their purloined stuff. Reed and female Uh-Oh pair up. "They're not going to run out of stembolts any time soon," Reed says, looking at something. But are they self-sealing? And what a sweet shout-out to DS9! Although, I gotta wonder what happens to stembolts in the future if no one -- not even O'Brien -- really knows what the hell they are. Reed finds Starfleet ration packs lying around.
In another module, Quantum violently shoves stuff around. I think the Uh-Oh is laughing at him. May-Commented-Out says he found something.