Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Pirates of the Implants
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.16.2003
In another module. May-Commented-Out finds what he thinks is a cargo manifest. Quantum tells him to download what he can for Hoshi, and tell T'Pol they need more treasure hunters.
In another module. More searching.
Bridge. Hoshi gets to work on the cargo manifest.
In another module. May-Commented-Out finds torpedoes.
Transporter room. Although it's not exactly a room; it's more of a hallway. Sort of a transporter alcove, if you will. Stuff is beamed up and carted away. There are containers on the pad that look exactly like the ten-gallon stockpots we used at school! How funny -- maybe they're Chef's. Cargo holds are restocked.
Sickbay. Trip comes gasping in because he burned his hand on a reactor. Phlox gets some salve and a swab. "I culda sworn that injector was empty -- I must be getting a little punchy," Trip says. Phlox asks him when the last time was that he had his nodes nobbled. Trip admits to only having the one session, and attributes the lack of noding off to having no time. Phlox hints that Trip's a scaredy-cat. Trip denies this easily, and says he just can't afford to spend an hour in T'Pol's quarters every night. "Can't you jest give me another one of those injections?" Trip asks. Phlox denies him his valerian, saying, "They're not meant to be taken for extended periods." Phlox comes up with another treatment for Trip. This is going to be good. Phlox holds up a water-filled jar with black things snaking around in it. "Aldeberon mud leeches!" Phlox announces gleefully. "What am I supposed to do with them?" Trip asks, almost before Phlox finishes speaking. His delivery was perfect, and very funny. You know, I love Phlox, I really do, but his obsession with leeches needs to go. I mean, I get the whole medieval-doctors-used-leeches-and-isn't-it-ironic-to-be-using-them-this-far-in-the-future thing, but can't we mix it up a bit with equally repulsive results? How about dung beetles? Or silverfish? Or crane flies? I know they eat mosquitoes, but those things freak the pants off me! Phlox explains the leech application: "Place one on your chest and one on your abdomen an hour before going to bed. Their secretions act as a natural sedative. Oh, uh, please be careful to sleep on your back" -- Trip looks fearful -- "if you roll over you might anger them." That reminds me of when Ross goes to get his "fancier than a pimple" thing looked at on Friends and Guru Sage does something to "anger it." "Mebbe an hour a night with T'Pol izzint so bad," Trip decides.