Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Amour-ticians
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 06.19.2005
Rico's looking for a date? Must be a day that ends in Y. But we can tell what day it actually is by the sign outside a church meeting room that reads "Common Purpose Catholic Singles Party Tues. 6-8 PM." It looks dull, but things get pretty wild around 7:52, I've heard. Rico stands by the buffet table, looking around unhappily. Until he spots a hot little brunette number with her back to him in a turquoise dress. He approaches, smiling, and his grin widens when Vanessa turns around to face him, looking mildly busted. They sort of laugh at each other. "Doesn't this remind you of a movie?" Rico tries. "Two divorced people meet at singles night and they, uh--" "No," Vanessa says flatly. Rico asks about some hockey player he thought she was hooked up with, and she says that's just sex. Rico gets all pearl-clutchy, and Vanessa says it's no big deal, which gives Rico an opening to say, "I just think you're better than that." For some reason, she's flattered by this judgmental crap, so she invites him over to see the Federiquitos the next day. He has to decline: he's going to a funeral director's conference in Irvine. "Yeah, woo. Really good time," he says sarcastically, as if that isn't exactly the kind of thing he looks forward to all year. Vanessa laughs and tells him to mingle, and then spots a guy across the room and goes over to introduce herself. Rico stands there all grumpy about how much easier this is for Vanessa. That's the danger of marrying someone hotter; it's way easier for them to get dates after they dump you for cheating with a stripper.
Ah, they're getting a little more subtle with the televisual clues this week. For instance, Maya's parked in front of a Blue's Clues video. Why? Because Brenda's going to be blue later and Nate won't have a clue why. But I could just be blowing smoke, because that's nearly always the case. Nate comes home after a hard day of planting people. Brenda offers him dinner and he declines, saying "I had a GardenBurger in the car." A GardenBurger in the car? I don't know if it's more likely that he picked it up at a drive-thru or found it under the seat in pristine condition. ["It's California -- they're actually pretty easy to find at fast-food places there. I would have gone for a Jamba Juice, myself." -- Wing Chun] Nate in turn notices the salad that Brenda's munching on, and asks if she should be eating it: "That lettuce is gray," he elaborates, but she doesn't care. "Is there anything internal I should know about?" he asks on his way to the shower. Brenda has no idea what he means. "Egg-wise?" he elaborates. Brenda says no, but thanks him for asking. Nate tells her that Ruth wants them over for dinner the next night. Brenda whines that they were just there last week. Nate says that George likes hanging with Maya, and Ruth could use the relief. "It's excruciating," Brenda says, so Nate says Brenda doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to. Does that go for all of us?