Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Amour-ticians
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 06.19.2005
Claire's back home with Billy, and he's acting seriously pissed on her behalf over the trust fund, and making her even madder than before, if such a thing is possible. Claire says she doesn't get the money until she's twenty-five. Billy says there's no difference between twenty-one and twenty-five. Oh, please. Those years are like dog years. If my twenty-five-year-old self ever met my twenty-one-year-old self, there'd be some ass-kicking. And then my thirty-five-year-old self would kick both their asses. Claire says she'll get a work visa and a translating job when they get to Europe. Billy says he doesn't care about the money; he cares about the way her family treats her like "a crippled child." "Either that or they ignore me," Claire agrees. "They always have." Billy tells her to confront Ruth. "My father would be so pissed," she says, and Billy pulls her into a comforting hug. She's probably right about Late Nate, but not for the reason she's thinking. I'm just glad that there's one scene in this episode where Billy's fully dressed.
Rico and Illeana are currently exploring the dining options available at the Irvine Center Quality Inn. To wit: the vending machine. "Oh, look, they've got Funyuns!" Illeana rejoices. Man, Funyuns are never not funny. In fact, if you rearrange the letters in "Funyuns" you get "funny us," which is probably a sly commentary on Illeana and Rico. See what I mean about the layers?
Keith and David have gone to bed mad, like couples are never supposed to do. Trash and I never go to bed mad. We slept standing up once, though. David's apologizing to Keith for overreacting earlier. Keith's slow to accept. "Why do you act like we're on different sides?" he asks. "Because I'm an idiot," David says. Keith says it's not a competition. "No matter how we get a child, we both win." David says they'll go to the surrogate together. Keith says that when David apologizes, he's "one sexy motherfucker." David starts apologizing flirtatiously and kissing Keith, and then he heads down toward the foot of the bed. Huh, what's up with that? Is he fixing the hospital corners or something? Hey, David, where're you going? I think Keith wants to fool around. Come back!
Illeana's fucking Rico with her bra on. He flips her from the top to the bottom in mid-thrust. "Oh, my God, you're the cutest goddamn little fucker!" she hollers. Short scene, but not short enough.
Ruth and George are on the sofa after everyone's gone home. They agree that it was a pleasant evening. George comments that it was nice to see Ruth smile. "I try to smile often," Ruth says. "It's not something you can do on command." She takes up her knitting, and George asks her not to. "You pick those things up, you're a million miles away." Ruth humorlessly says that she's six inches to his right. George surveys the gap. "Eighteen inches," he insists, and slides closer. Ruth says they don't have to be attached at the hip. "I want a strong, close family too," he says. "We can still do it, can't we?" Ruth says she doesn't know: "If you would give me a moment's peace." George takes the hint and stands up to leave the room, defeated. Ruth looks up after him, but doesn't follow or call him back. Enjoy that moment's peace, Ruth.