Episode Report Card Megyn: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT West Suck Story
By Megyn | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.20.2001
Hill -- a family feuded for years, they made up.
Ugh. Floria, Captain Shrill of the S.S. Annoying, bobbing her head to music as Poet, Hill, Smith, and LoPresti all sit and moon over her. They all try to out-compliment each other as she bats her eyes and types. Each takes a turn at trying to prove how much in common they have with her. Short of beating their chests and grunting, they cover all areas of animal behavior. Well, they don't sniff her ass either, but you get my drift. McManus walks in and asks what business Poet and Hill have with the warden. Poet has a petition signed by (I guess) all the inmates to get cable installed. Poet lisps, "Broadcast TV sucks!" Um. Word. McManus pretty much sends them on their way and says he'll take care of it. Smith takes them back while he and LoPresti size each other up. Thankfully, Leo shows up just as the testosterone is about to hit the fan. Floria tries to stop him before he walks in his office where, lo and behold, the little minx has redecorated! He loves it. She preens. I struggle to not hork all over the keyboard. McManus makes a comment about her doing his office next. She ignores him and asks Leo if he likes it. He says, "It's fantastic! You're fantastic!" She practically swoons at the fished-for compliment as he re-adjusts his thumb, which is up his ass, so he can sit down.
Later, the two of them walk down a gray hallway. That's any hallway, if you wanna know, and Floria gives Leo her super rundown of the warden's conference and the apartment she found for him (with furniture). He asks if his wife called. Soberly, she says, "No." "Send her some flowers." Floria seizes that moment to deliver the message left by his wife's lawyer about "who to call regarding the divorce papers." Leo: "How should I know? How the fuck should I know?" Floria bows her head and clucks. He apologizes with, "First divorce." She offers that she "knows a lawyer...he'll know what to do." Leo tells her to send flowers anyway.
It's the warden's conference, and everybody's there -- including Querns, who comes over to Glynn and begins a round of insult-trading that ends with Glynn telling Querns to fuck off. Just as Glynn begins to leave, Querns tells him to wait, and mentions Clayton Hughes. It seems the prisoners "hate him because he was a CO." Glynn finishes for him, "And the COs hate him because he's a turn-coat." Querns says Clayton's been getting into fights and is currently under protective custody. He doesn't think he'll "survive" the year. Glynn says he wants to transfer him to Oz so he can keep an eye on him...since that's worked so well in the past. Just then, Governor Gremlin shows up, on crutches. Everyone starts clapping as he acts modest. When he reaches Querns and Glynn, Querns commences ass-kissing while the Governor slimes about people telling him he shouldn't come to the conference, since it's being held in the very room where he was shot. Then he tells Glynn that, "thanks to Clayton's helping hand," he won the election.