Episode Report Card Megyn: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT West Suck Story
By Megyn | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.20.2001
In the lunchroom, Dylan tells Schillinger about Tweedles Dee and Dum coming to see him. Vern asks if they threatened him. He says he'll talk to them. Dylan protests and says he's not afraid; he just wants Vern to know. Schillinger goes over the fact that he's been reading his scriptures, talking to Rev. Dylan, all so he can find "a little joy" in his life. He doesn't want to become a holy roller, necessarily. From across the room, Hoyt and Robson glare.
Vern visits with Carrie, the knocked-up chick. He gives her a woman's card, from the Reverend, and tells her to call if she needs anything or just gets lonely. She looks at the card and asks if it's the same Reverend that got nabbed for embezzlement. He says yes, but assures her he's a "good man," and says that he told Rev. Dylan about her -- about how she only has Vern and Hank. She snarfs at the mention of dead Hank and says she knows he isn't coming back. She tosses the card in Vern's face, which is rude, since he's been helping her sorry ass. He picks the card up and hands it to her again, telling her that this woman has been through a similar experience and can help. Carrie tells him she "never figured him for the religious type." He denies that he is.
The "interaction room." Beecher paces like a dork, and Pete enters to alert him that Schillinger is on his way. Beecher tells her his hands are sweaty and he's "borderline nauseous." She Mary-Sunshines that it doesn't mean the meeting isn't the way to go. Schillinger enters. They all sit. Pete asks which one of them wants to go first. Vern raises his hand to volunteer, "Could I start by reading a scripture?" Caught off-guard, Pete says, "Of course...do you mind, Tobias?" "No." He reads the one about the cow and the bear.
Flashback. Timothy Kirk, taking a baby from the mom and placing said baby in a dumpster. Looks like a real winner. I think that scene was a little over the line, actually. We cut to the gym, where Dylan struggles to bench a five-pound weight as Kirk approaches. He asks Dylan if he believes that his body is a temple. Yeah, the temple of skinny. Dylan blah-blings about the body being God's gift to us. Kirk asks if "sex" is also "God's gift," to which Dylan replies, "Yes, of course." This prompts Kirk to lean down into Dylan's personal space and ask the good reverend if he'd like him to get right on down and kiss the bishop. Dylan says, "No thank you," and asks him to step back. He stands and looks at Kirk squarely: "You have spent your whole life being adorable...in a little-boy way...but you put your baby in a dumpster, that's a man's crime. Time to start acting like a man." He walks away, leaving poor adorable Kirk to ponder at Dylan's wisdom.