Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Watergate Still Kind Of Bothers Me
By Jacob Clifton | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.29.2007
Outside, Ryan is totally cute in a light camel jacket talking to Erica's totally identical friends. Inside, she forgets the words and stumbles about stupidly for awhile. Finally, Simon informs her that it was "like a neverending torture," and she pulls the "my voice was shaky" and asks for another chance. He tells her not to sing more under any circumstances, so she starts singing. "Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica," says Simon; Paula wanders away off camera. "Erica. Erica. Erica. Erica. Please, Erica. Erica, please," begs Simon. "Jesus Effin' Christ," Paula nearly says aloud. Erica starts singing a third time; Simon is now pissed, and even Randy's nervous continuous laughter is starting to sound a little irritated and worn. Offstage, Paula flounces around about what an asshole Erica Skye (19, Auburn AL!) is being, and Randy asks security to get her stupid ass out of there. Paula is appalled and vocally "shocked" by the behavior, and I have to say, I agree. There's being determined and there's being moronic and forging ahead because you literally forgot to stop. They give her a unanimous no, and she makes a horribly nasty face, then brushes her shoulder off as she's leaving. Simon asks Paula what that means, and Paula's lovely/alert: "Basically 'fuck us,'" she says with a grin. "Really?" says Simon, in love with learning. Outside, Erica wishes they'd "been a little nicer," but I think she's talking about the judges and not like fate, or genetics, or that goldurn donkey what kicked her in the head.
Sad Boy Crying, Big Girl making Ryan feel nacho sympathy -- you know how much I love Ryan, right? This whole recap, picture him continually going, "Awwwww!" whenever anybody doesn't get through. It's the sweetest thing. It's the opposite of Seattle in like every way. More crying, more crying, just enough time for a quick shout-out to Molly Ivins: You go, Molly Ivins!
Katie Bernard (19, Oviedo FL) is dancing so awesome with her Maria Bamford little girl voice rocking out like a cartoon. She's like if Scooter Girl didn't seem so needy and looked even more like Pamie, that's Katie here. Love her. She talks about how people on the phone always think she's three, and they ask to talk to her mom, but her mom is her, and she has no kids, it's just Katie being Katie. Paula notes right away the "interesting voice," and Katie assures them that her speaking voice and singing voice are, luckily, completely different. It's clear she's charmed Simon and Paula before she even starts singing, which is probably best because her singing voice is one she shares with Britney Spears, who is many things both wonderful and terrible, but "singer" is not and has never been on that list. She sounds great, I mean, I like her voice, but it's not like real-life singing at all. Also, she is doing this drunk-slutty-robot-voice Brit bit while singing "A House Is Not A Home," which on top of the cartoon voice makes everything really weird. Simon is I would say equal parts intrigued, irritated, and weirded out; Paula loves it because she loves cartoons and things that seem to be good. Randy's just bored. Afterwards Paula calls it "the most interesting," and Katie starts yelling at Randy about "we can do this we can do this" over and over, and it goes on pretty long. Everybody gets on their knees at some point except Simon, Katie drags her husband into the room screaming hilariously, "Convince Paula! She thinks I should enjoy marriage! We can do this! We can convince Paula!" She's the cutest girl in all the world; Simon hates all of this terrible much. Paula finally puts her through just for irritating Simon, which is as stupid as ever, and when Katie comes out with her ticket and husband in tow, Ryan laughs and claps.