Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Watergate Still Kind Of Bothers Me
By Jacob Clifton | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.29.2007
Randy busts out laughing at one particularly icky part and she turns the whole shambles into a scary pointing-at-Simon exercise in sexual terrorism, and his eyes go wide and finally he admits that he's "never heard that song like that," and asks what normally happens when she sings in public. Her answer is gorgeous: "I get a little nervous?" She bows and leaves after her unanimous no, and Simon's eyes are still kind of wild as he watches her go, pronouncing her awful outfit the "most extraordinary dress I've seen in my life." Randy says "dress" is not the best word maybe, and Paula...my notes say, to be honest, "Paula: Crazy talk." We'll go with that.
Bernard Williams II, (26, Birmingham and/or Pleasant Grove AL) is a cute, nice, bland guy who sings "Rock With You" powerfully loud, causing Paula and Randy to dance all weird and antsy. He's got good tone and control, but is a little shouty. He's the best we've seen so far, I think. Simon calls him "very good," and gives him "absolutely 100% yes," which Paula finds shocking because he was "completely off key" the entire time. Simon says he's got potential and to stop pretending you know what those words mean, and then Bernard calls Randy "dawg" and gets through. Paula claps drunkenly for him, but his excitement trips some wire inside her crazy head and she tells him to eat some humble pie, and I don't know what it is about Bernard that's making her act out like this, but I wouldn't really venture any guesses either, because 26 is pretty old for her, isn't it? Outside, he runs this way and that and then dances around madly.
Here's something that didn't really need to happen: Fucked Up Margaret Fowler (26, Atlanta GA), who talks like a cartoon about a stupid old woman who should have stayed at home but somehow doesn't know any better. She's wearing a shapeless yellow Muppet cape with lots of marabou bullshit all over, and under it she's wearing a faded yellow sports bra and some nasty fupa stirrup pants. It's pretty gross. She talks about her many ventures and whatever, a "clothing line for plus-size girls," all of it in this put-on fake airy voice like a freaky cookie-bearing fairy godmother, and explains that the bullshit currently happening on her is her "frilly" look, with a "little" gold-sequin "pocketbook" that is so totally from Ross; the "jacket is fringed and flowing," she minces, spreading it open so that she is now exposing herself. I don't know. This lady pushes like every button I have. Why do you have to embarrass yourself so much that it's embarrassing for others? Why can't you just try harder not to be fucking crazy? Everybody looks worried when they see her giant yellow vagina, and then they laugh/look irritated as she talks crazy some more.