Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Well, look what you've done now, Michael
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.02.2005
And halfway across the country, Veronica and Nick have landed at Dulles. Nick is providing background on his so-called mysterious contact: the PI was his roommate during his freshman year at Duke. As they walk around the terminal looking purposeful, a nearby television is providing an update on the riot. That's right: the riot began when Nick and Veronica were in the prison. In the time it took them to drive from Joliet to either Midway or O'Hare, book flights (because, remember, they weren't exactly on speaking terms until the end of their talk with Lincoln), board the flight, and fly a couple hundred miles...the riot's raged on unabated and garnered national news coverage. Clap your hands if you believe in an extremely flexible space-time continuum.
Back in Illinois, LJ's watching the news coverage. His mom comes in, telling him it's time to go. LJ's all, "Hold on." It finally dawns on Lisa that the riot LJ's watching is taking place at Fox River; LJ's attention is riveted to the screen. Lisa exchanges glances with her new spouse -- let's call him Not My Real Dad, or NiMRoD, for short -- and he shakes his head. She snaps off the TV. LJ yelps, "What are you doing?" "We have to go, come on," Lisa says. LJ protests that Dad might be in trouble, and Lisa snaps, "You're father's already in trouble, and there's nothing we can do about it. Let's go." LJ's jaw plummets to his kneecaps. Lisa leans in and says, "Don't make a scene, okay? [NiMRoD] gets very uncomfortable with this sort of thing." Ah, good to know Lisa hasn't lost her penchant for difficult men, but merely upgraded it.
LJ immediately does exactly what his mom does not want him to do, and makes a scene. NiMRoD turns around and says, "Leave me out of this!" LJ's like, "I don't recall dragging you into this, thank you," and when NiMRoD protests to his wife/girlfriend/whatever Lisa is that verily, LJ is slinging the crap, she begins with the shouty voice. LJ keeps hollering, and eventually, his mom recognizes that he's upset and tries comforting him. She grasps him by the shoulder and says, "Honey, look --" "Leave me alone!" LJ cries as he pushes Lisa away. It's not an aggressive move, but more like blind shoving. However, NiMRoD loses it and launches himself at LJ, shoving him. LJ shoves back, and NiMRoD gets the last word in by grabbing the side of LJ's head and slamming him to the ground. As LJ picks himself up, Lisa shrieks at LJ to go upstairs. LJ's in tears now. As he walks up the stairs, he asks, "You love that man? You love that man?" He turns his back; it's evident from his expression that he thinks his mother's betrayed him. Oh, Lisa. You sure know how to pick them! And your parenting skills are something else.
Speaking of LJ's real dad, he's about to get tenderized by the ambulatory side of beef we know as Turk. There's some more steam -- oh, God, the 1980s video flashbacks are coming thick and fast now -- and we see Linc lurching along. I swear, he's sweating off extra pounds with every foot he staggers. Or maybe he just looks wiry next to Turk. Anyway, Turk comes up behind Lincoln, and as Lincoln wheels into a defensive position, he keeps asking, "Why? Why?" Turk doesn't answer; he only swings a crowbar. The camera swings back to we can see that they're on a catwalk. Of course they are. Nobody in prison has the good sense to do their killing on the ground floor, do they? After a few minutes' struggle, Turk swings at Lincoln, Linc ducks, and Turk goes hurtling over the edge. Ah, if only he didn't have that tremendous mass-to-area ratio working against him.