Episode Report Card Sobell: B | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Well, look what you've done now, Michael
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.02.2005
As Lincoln flips out on the second floor, Michael's wandering around the first one, eyes wide, just looking around. Yes, look at what you started, Michael. He gets an eyeful of the guards waiting for the Go signal before commencing the juicy state-sanctioned beatings, he notices the mounds of waste heaped everywhere...and then a hand claps on his shoulder. Michael wheels around, and it's Lincoln. The two hug. Both of them are crying in relief. Lincoln pulls himself together first and asks, "Where have you been." Michael's rocking back and forth, unwilling to let go of Lincoln. He replies, "All over. Are you all right?" Lincoln says he is. Oh, these two. It's sweet how they don't want to worry each other with little things like, "Oh, I nearly got killed by an ambulatory side of beef" and "Well, there was a whole lot of eluding would-be rapists."
Dr. Tancredi's being steered over to the ambulances, and a smirking Bellick remarks, "She's walking. That's a good sign." So refined, that one. Then Pope comes over and proceeds to ream Bellick out for his chat with Gov. Crankypants. It'll be a miracle if Bellick's walking once it's over.
Sara's explaining to the paramedics that she's only a little bruised when Gov. Crankypants comes over, crying in a worried voice, "Sara? Sara?" Her fragile composure breaks and she half-sobs, "Dad?" Then she's crying and running to him for a hug, and he's asking if she's okay. And then Gov. Crankypants has to ruin it by immediately launching into a diatribe with, "I told you! I told you when you took this job, I knew something like this was going to happen." So he ran on the "Told you so!" ticket -- is that the message here? Sara can't believe this: "God, Dad, can't you even say, 'I'm happy you're alive.'" "Well, yes -- because now you're here to listen to me say 'I told you so' some more," Gov. Crankypants replies. Oh, he does not. What actually happens is that we've established that for all Gov. Crankypants cares about Sara, he's not exactly who you turn to for saying the right thing at the right time. Good thing his career doesn't depend on that!
Inside, Michael's just made it to his cell and a jubilant Sucre tells him, "Those little Hooker holes were right on!" Funny how easily the phrase little Hooker holes just trips off his tongue. Michael's all, "Yeah, yeah, anyone not named Sucre or Michael, get out of this cell. That means you, T-Bag." T-Bag decides that the party's over, and he's going to bring home a dead CO for a party favor. Michael shouts, "You're not going to kill him!" T-Bag shouts back that he darn well will. Michael repeats himself, and T-Bag grabs him. This is Linc's cue to come in and smack T-Bag around. T-Bag hisses, "You can't let him live! After all he's seen! After all he's seen! After all he's seen!" "I've only seen some over-the-top Cape Fear-style shenanigans from you!" Bob helpfully says. In the episode playing in my head. Linc tells Bob, "Keep your mouth shut and turn left." Michael screams at T-Bag, "Get out!" T-Bag's got an expression like, See if I ask you to share a limo when I take Bob's daughter to the prom. Bob scarpers off to the left. Abruzzi herds T-Bag to the right, then makes the mistake of not escorting him back to his cell.