Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Well, look what you've done now, Michael
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.02.2005
Lincoln grabs the crowbar, heads on down to Turk's body. Although it's entirely possible that the slabs of muscle plating Turk's um, everything, might have protected his spine, I'm guessing that's not likely here. Turk's breathing shallowly. Inexplicably, Linc tosses the crowbar to the side. Linc, you idiot! Keep it on you! Even if Turk's in no mood to hand out an ass-kicking, there's always the off-chance that you'll run into the Burger King! Anyhoodle, Linc slaps Turk into semi-consciousness and demands to know why he tried to kill him, asking, "Who sent you? Man, you gotta help me. You gotta -- please." Turk is none too helpful. I also think he's not exactly dead. As Linc walks off, Turk is still breathing.
Meanwhile, Sucre's drilling at the designated points in the devil picture. He's got a nonstop prayer litany going too. Unfortunately, he didn't pray to the patron saint of personal space because Abruzzi's just cuddled up behind him to ask who his friend was. Is there nobody to whom Abruzzi will not cleave? Does his cellmate lie awake night after night, weeping silently as Abruzzi curls up behind him and sleepily says, "I'll be the tablespoon, you be the teaspoon"?
Abruzzi demands to know who Sucre's talking to, and Sucre explains, "It's the fish's idea. The devil marks the wall so you know where to drill the holes." Abruzzi snakes around to stare at Sucre's bulging pectorals and asks, "You're making holes with an eggbeater?" Sucre's all, "I know. Crazy, huh? It's called The Hooker Law. It says if you poke the exact right holes with something big and strong, it gets very weak." Abruzzi says thoughtfully, "That's true." This is...oh, this is so beautiful. I wish all physics laws were explained by two lonely cons. And I wish Michael could have been there for this explanation, if only to see the look on his face.
Sucre keeps drilling while Abruzzi dances around and moans, "You should never underestimate a wall." Abruzzi, you're a freak. I dub thee...The Oddfather. The nickname certainly doesn't apply to Vincent Gigante.
Meanwhile, Michael and Sara continue scampering along the wire. He's got very good balance for someone who's down a few toes. Down below, Stroke is leading the Future Rapists Of America (FRA) down the hall, looking for soft spot in the ceiling above. In the ducts, Sara says, "You know what? I need a minute." She's lying: she only wants to inspect the elaborate Beaux Arts-era molding on the ceiling. Yes, I said molding. This is apparently the Winchester Mystery Prison, and we're going to discover at a later date that Michael plans on escaping via the dumbwaiter.