Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Well, look what you've done now, Michael
By Sobell | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.02.2005
Sara apologizes for needing a moment. Michael swings back over and assures her, "It's not much further." She looks like she can't go anywhere. He says, "You know, we can stop if you want, catch your breath." Sara says she could use a minute. Yes, because that will give the FRA more time to find you.
Michael tells Sara, "Things'll be winding down about now. Pretty soon, the powers that be will come in, and it will all be over. It's just a matter of time." Sara's gradually becoming more collected, and she asks, "What's happening anyway?" I look forward to seeing if Michael tells her, "Well, this riot I inadvertently started when monkeying with the thermostat has raged out of control because once again, I miscalculated the human factor in my plans." Michael settles for rolling his eyes and saying, "All hell's breaking loose. But I think if we stay up here, we'll be okay." Sara's in a little bit of shock. Because it's evidently startling that a prison full of horny criminals would turn on their poorly-paid guards and run riot.
Meanwhile, proving that libido is the real mother of invention, the FRA has found an office chair and a broom and devised the doctor detection system: several FRA members roll the chair while one pokes the roof at intervals. All of them woo the doctor by speculating that she's merely playing hard to get.
Michael and Sara sit in silence for a moment. He looks over, sighs and asks, "You ever been to Baja? Mexico?" Sara looks at him like, Why? Is that where this vent leads? Michael continues, "There's this great place down there -- $20 a night, hammock on the back deck, beers are 50 cents. Twenty-five cents at happy hour." Sara's not saying anything. Michael asks, "Ever been to Thailand? Thailand's great --" "Michael, if you're trying to calm me down, you're doing a terrible job," Sara interrupts. He grins and says, "But I am trying." Really? I thought you were doing your Rachel Ray $40-a-Day imitation, only without the girlish giggle.
Sara asks him, "Why are you here?" Michael's all, "What? In prison?" Sara clarifies, "Crawling around the ceiling, risking your life for me…" Michael suddenly can't meet her eyes and does not say, "Well, I caused this riot and you'd be one more unintended consequence." Instead he temporizes with, "You needed help and, uh, I came to find you." Sara asks how he knew where to go, and Michael again breaks eye contact to say, "When everything went off in A wing, the COs left their station. I saw you on the monitor. One of the assignments in PI, we were up here cleaning toxic mold. It took days, so I'm kind of familiar with the layout." Sara says, "I hope you wore a mask." Michael's all, "What?" and she explains, "To prevent inhalation. The mold can be really dangerous." Michael's had enough of this charade. He turns so Sara can't see him rolling his eyes as he says, "Yeah, I wore a mask." They resume creeping along.