Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A+ | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT We're Off To See The Wizard
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 07.11.1997
1 PM. In the factory, Beecher asks Rebadow if this is where they make the prison uniforms, but Rebadow informs him that these clothes are for sale. "They're hip, or hop. I'm not sure which." This just in: Rebadow is older than Methuselah. Let's move on. Beecher whines that he's not used to doing this type of work. Hill gives him the sort of glare normally reserved for child pornographers. And McManus. Hill asks what Beecher did on the outside, and upon hearing the answer, he grits, "I hate lawyers almost as much as I hate cops." I love doing these recaps in retrospect. I can say things like, "It's completely obvious that a cop must have had something to do with Hill being in a wheelchair," and get away with it. Whoops. Was that my outside voice? Beecher scratches his head all, "Can I go home yet?"
5 PM. Mineo, that older hack, calls for count. Rebadow explains that this is when they get shoved in their cells for the night, and lights-out is at ten. Beecher whinily asks what he's supposed to do until then. Rebadow: "Try to keep breathing." Boy, Beecher, I'd think some semblance of reality would have sunk in at some point, considering you killed a little girl and all. Nope, we just get another dorky smile. Inside their pod, Beecher finds Adebisi (Woo!) going through his stuff. Beecher complains, but Adebisi grabs him by the head and informs him that he, Adebisi, will be the trustee of any properties previously owned by Beecher. Well, he doesn't say it like that, but believe me, the message came through loud and clear all the same. Adebisi is wearing a big ski hat. How disappointing. A hack barges in and tells them to come out for count. Schillinger (again, woo!) observes this.
10 PM. The lights go out. Diane is still working, which is a nice little touch that will be expanded on in a few episodes, if I remember correctly. She says to no one in particular. "There's something in the air. And it ain't love." Well, that depends how broad a definition you want to give it, sweetheart.
Shots of people sleeping. We get our first look at an inmate taking a dump (3,265 to go). The dumper is Adebisi, which is quite fitting. Adebisi walks over, and Beecher, on the top bunk, huddles closer to the wall. Heh. Adebisi informs the "prag" that he won't be partaking of, er, what he has to offer. "At least not tonight." Mighty generous, if you ask me. I'm quite sure Beecher will have plenty of time to remember that tomorrow night.
The next day, Beecher munches on an apple in the cafeteria. Schillinger finds him and politely asks if he can sit with him. Beecher neither smiles nor makes eye contact. Well, Adebisi may not have fucked Beecher the previous night, but it looks like Reality finally did. Schillinger holds out his hand and introduces himself, but Beecher still doesn't acknowledge him. Schillinger says he understands, and he saw what was going on with Adebisi. Beecher confides that Adebisi stole his watch, like, who brings a watch to prison? Schillinger says Adebisi pulled the same tricks with him when he first came to Oz. Beecher asks what he did, and Schillinger says he went to McManus and asked him to switch him to another pod. Remember I said earlier that Beecher was like a golden retriever? Well, now he's more of a rainbow trout, flopping on the line. Schillinger warns him not to say that it has anything to do with Adebisi, like, smart sentiment, but what other reason could he offer? Then again, it is McManus he'll be dealing with. All he'll have to do is cry a little. Schillinger goes on that in the meantime, he should wear armor. He lifts his shirt up to reveal sheets of newspaper tucked below. Neat trick. A lot of people on this show could have used it.