Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The rekapture of Kiefer
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 21 | Aired on 04.22.2002
Meanwhile, back in the klink, Skank does the perp walk back to the cell which is now home to Spawn and a dozen or so strangely coiffed tough girl extras. Seriously, one girl seems to have two large rollers pinned in her hair, another squat pasty girl has a Mohawk, and there are a couple of blondes who have trashy early-nineties Guess? ad hair. It's like a movie about a women's prison that Fellini would have made if he were still alive. Skank approaches Spawn, who is sitting by herself on a suspiciously well-designed bench, and tells her that she's "in [Skank's] seat." Spawn moves to another area on this very long bench, and Skank follows her over and tells her that she's still in Skank's seat. Spawn gets up, stands by some bars, and makes friends with this twitchy girl who can't stop playing with her hair.
Back at the Palmer Suite again, the party is still going strong. Poor Man's Hume Cronyn congratulates Palmer for winning all eleven states and informs him of the results of a -- ahem -- Fox News Poll which determined that eighty-three percent of the country approved of the way that Palmer dealt with the Theo situation. No one has heard yet from the Ames and the "local businessmen" that Palmer trashed at the press conference. "They're all running for cover," says PMHC. "It couldn't have turned out better." Palmer gets the attention of his partying staff and announces that he's about to give a speech that evening. "We've still got some primaries coming up so technically it's not going to be a victory speech," he says raising his glass. "But it's gonna sound like one." Everyone laughs at Palmer's well-deserved cockiness. Palmer thanks everyone in the room for their support and orders them to enjoy the rest of the television season…I mean, "evening."
On the media balcony of CTU, Mason tells Nina to give him a "threat assessment" on Palmer halfway through the episode…I mean, "in a half an hour." He suspects that since they have LittleTerrorBrother in custody, said threat looks minimal, but he still wants an update. There's a phone call for Nina. It's Kiefer. Mason intercepts the call. Kiefer tells him about the existence of the Lou Diamond Phillips Kave, and about TerrorPapa being alive and his attempted liberation by the LeafyTerrorMinions. He asks for back-up to thwart the attack. Mason promises to call "Division" and get back to him. Kiefer urges him not to go through Division, since time is of the essence and Victor Drazen could eskape. "You know what this man can do!" says Kiefer. Mason orders some goateed assistant to send a field unit to Saugus and to call Chappelle. Nosy Nina wants to know what's going on. "Is Kiefer all right?" she shrieks. Mason chastises Nina for wasting the best years of her life on a married man. "And picking up Soul Patch on the rebound," he adds. "What's that about?" Nina tells Mason he's out of line. Mason tells her that she's out of line. Oh, will you two just fuck already? The entrance of Soul Patch and Bride interrupts their squabble. Bride needs to talk to Kiefer immediately. Nina tells her that he's on assignment, and lets it slip that he never found out about the attack of the Safe House. Of course she lies and says that they couldn't get a hold of him and that's why he doesn't know. Then she orders Bride into the Konfrontational Koffee Room and tells her to have Soul Patch debrief her about the Safe House attack. "I need to know what's going on with my family," whines Bride. Nina promises to update her as soon as she knows anything.
Screen splits to show Kiefer in the Lou Diamond Phillips Kave, which is in a state of black-out. Kiefer trains a gun on TerrorPapa and backs him up against a wall. Future corpse…I mean Special Guest Agent La Bamba radios the rest of his men, but no one "copies" back to him. They try to figure out how they can get out as fast as possible. SpecialGuestAgentLaBamba pulls a gun on TerrorPapa himself and tries to intimidate him into telling him where the LeafyTerrorMinions are stationed, but TerrorPapa is stone cold. He says nothing. At one end of the hallway, a loud explosion can be heard. The LeafyTerrorMinions are blasting their way into the Lou Diamond Phillips Kave. Kiefer, TerrorPapa, and Special Guest Agent La Bamba move in the other direction, and a few of their armed men follow and defend the retreat. The time is 8:10:00 PM. Wow, that's a short first segment.