Episode Report Card Erin: A | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Ice 5 Man Cometh
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.18.2005
So, yeah, Father Hottie McSexy is sitting there all tough and bleeding and Kelly goes to take care of him. Syd distracts her for a moment so Father Hottie McSexy can steal Kelly's key card, but Kelly quickly sends Syd packing. It looks as if Vaughn managed to slip the key card to Syd while I wasn't looking, because in the next scene, Syd has the card and passes it off to Dixon. Back with Father Hottie McSexy, Kelly mentions that he smells like Glenlivet and then brings him into her office to finish up his care. Or to defrock him. One or the other. Elsewhere, Dix sneaks into a room, opens up his tool kit and gets to work on the key card. He makes a quick copy and we switch back to the latest episode of The Thorn Birds in Montenegro, already in progress.
Kelly and Father Hottie McSexy discuss how she's never known a priest who's been in a bar fight before, and Father Hottie McSexy tells her that he's new at the local church and sometimes he hears confession every weekday from four to six at Tavern Nikolai. (It should be noted that I typed "sex" instead of "six" because hot priests make me forget how to type.) They introduce themselves and a friendship is born. Vaughn asks her how long its been since she's been to confession and Kelly kind of pulls back. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel," she says, smiling. "About what?" he asks. "A flirty priest," she quips. Hee. He assures her that his intentions are honorable. "Mostly," he finishes with a gentle smile. Oh, rrrrowr. Vartan's hot, but Vartan as the flirty priest with a past? SMOKIN'.
Dix finishes up the key card and passes it to Syd as Kelly and Father Hottie McSexy continue flirting. Kelly comments that she was sent here for her sins, and a deep Belfast voice says, "It's not that bad." Enter Fintan Keene, former IRA member and current Irish baddie. Kelly looks decidedly upset by Fintan's appearance and demands to know what he's doing there. Vaughn watches the unfolding scene with a vertical furrow grinding itself between his brows. He wonders aloud if they're married and Fintan just cryptically answers that the "good book" would frown upon that. Over at the Secret Lab of Icy Experiments, Syd gains entrance and quickly makes her way into the lab.
Fintan claims that, even though he's agreed to never show up at the hospital, he wanted to stop by and check on the guy who had the accident earlier. Kelly's very nervous around Fintan and pretty much just wants him to leave. "You should be nicer to your big brother," says Fintan, making the "good book" comment actually make sense now. Fintan goes off to the Secret Lab of Icy Experiments just as Syd makes her way into the inner lab itself. She locates the Ice 5 samples as Fintan clears the outer security door. Syd drops a few samples into a case. Just then, the inner security door beeps and Fintan enters. Syd hides successfully as Fintan and his troops pass by, with Fintan saying something about putting the injured soldier in a separate room, away from all the guinea pigs. Ew. Syd hears this and looks up at a couple of silver tanks with Cyrillic writing on the outside. Then she gets up and peeks through some blinds and sees a couple of medics spraying something on a man as he screams and his skin starts to turn to ice. Oh, major ew.