Episode Report Card Erin: A | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Ice 5 Man Cometh
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.18.2005
Downstairs, Vaughn's keeping his eyes peeled for baddies when a blonde woman appears in the distance. The Violins of Ex-Wives Who Might Not Be Dead start screeching over the scene. The woman, of course, isn't Moronen, but for a second there, Vaughn totally thought it was. Not-Moronen walks off, and Vaughn sees a guy entering the stalls whom he determines is a baddie of the first order. Syd gets Vaughn's message and she snaps at Muck, asking him if he followed their safety protocols. He's all, dude! I totally did! Syd's all, oh, save it pee-wee. You were followed. She spies another baddie and Dix spies a few more. Apparently, they're determining the badness of these guys by the fact that they're white…and in Algeria. Bad day to be a white guy in Algeria, I guess.
Syd grabs Muck and they hurry off, with the baddies following. Weiss pulls the getaway van around. Dix manages to stop a couple baddies all by himself. Syd and Muck keep moving. They pass the first baddie spotted by Vaughn and he pulls out a gun and points it at Muck. Vaughn slams him with an old heating pan or something and he goes down. Another baddie shows up and chucks himself at Muck, bringing both of them to the ground. Syd drops him easily with a tray and grabs Muck, who's now grunting that he can't make it out of the hall. Dix gets on comms and asks if anyone has a twenty on the last baddie. Nope. Syd keeps pulling Muck out and suddenly, the lower half of his left calf just…breaks off. It totally freaked me out when I first saw it. But, yeah, it just…breaks. Like it's made of…ice. Oooooooh.
So Muck goes down, and Syd sees the damage and is seriously freaked out too. Muck is groaning and wheezing and there's no blood coming out of the remaining part of his leg and it's a really weird and disturbing image. Syd and Vaughn pick up what's left of Muck and drag him toward the van that Weiss has pulled around. Muck does not look well at all. Weiss flings the doors open and as Syd and Vaughn go to pull him into the van, the last baddie shows up and points his gun. Dix gets there a second too late, the bullet flies and…Muck shatters into a thousand frozen Mucksicle pieces. I watched on the TiVo slo-mo, y'all, and that effect is flawless. The Appleseed Gang seems to think so too, because they look around at each other with shared expressions of, "The fuck?"
And now is the time on Alias when we break out the glowsticks and spread glitter on our bodies and drop the E and dance to the extended remix of "Girls Behaving Badly In Excellent Wigs."