Episode Report Card Erin: A | 2 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Ice 5 Man Cometh
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.18.2005
So, whatever, the lovefest continues as Nadia spies some pictures of Syd's just conveniently lying around. Included among the photos are some shots of what we're supposed to think is Irina, but is really Mia Maestro done up to look like she's from the sixties or something. It's really weak, actually, because it would totally be easy to nab old pictures of Lena Olin and doctor 'em up to look like they were old photos of Irina, but methinks that Lena Olin's too busy making Swedish meatballs for Lasse Hallström and their kids to respond to phone calls from the Bad Robot legal department asking for pictures from her grade school days. Like, they can make a guy's leg shatter, but they can't doctor up a photo to look like Lena Olin? I don't think so. I think Lena Olin's all, "Who called? Abrams who? Alias what? Yeah, I got a pie in the oven and I have to read the script for the sequel to Darkness, Darkness II: What Were We Thinking? I'm too busy. Tell him to get his own damn pictures." And that's my reasoning behind Mia Maestro standing in for Irina. (Of course, this doesn't really excuse the fact that someone who knows their way around Photoshop could have taken pictures of both Maestro and Garner and morphed them into a reasonable facsimile of what their mother might look like, but I've already talked about this too much and nobody cares about this shit as much as I do, so, really, I'll stop now. Really.)
Right. So, in one of the pictures that Nadia finds, there's a shot of "Irina" holding a baby. Nadia asks if the baby is Syd. Syd doesn't know who the baby is. Or maybe Syd just doesn't know what a baby looks like. Is that it? Syd doesn't know what babies are? Those Project Christmas kids are weird. Nadia says she's never seen pictures of her mother like this. You know, not killing people and actually having some semblance of a soul. The doorbell rings and Syd runs off to meet Vaughn, leaving Nadia to look at the picture of herself with a baby and wonder why her mother just looks like her in a bad sixties bouffant wig.
Montenegro. Syd starts her job as a relief worker at the hospital. Kelly MacDonald, of Trainspotting fame, is basically in charge of the place. They rush through the halls, with Kelly giving Syd the rundown on what they do there, and Syd says that it sounds overwhelming. "Nothing a bit of Bushmills and a few Hail Marys wouldn't cure," quips Kelly. She's Irish, get it? And we likes our whiskey and our cushy religion. The girls pass Dix as he's standing at a counter, pretending to fill out some paperwork. He tells Vaughn over comms that Phoenix is in play and worries that she's not wearing a transmitter. Vaughn reassures him that as soon as she gets the place to trust her, she'll toss on a transmitter. "Besides," he says with a smile, "it'll give you a chance to brush up on some of your old-school tricks." Hee. "Hey, a little respect for your elders," retorts Dix. Hee hee.