Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cannon in D-fense
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.15.2002
The alien ship gets closer and closer. "Malcolm?" Quantum prompts warningly. Reed's sleeves are pushed up and sweat stands out on his noble brow. "Trip?" he asks. Trip nods. "We're ready, sir," Reed says. "Then fire!" Quantum says, rather too impatiently for my taste. Enterprise fires. The green shield on the Praying Mantis ship wobbles, and mini-explosions erupt across its hull. A not-so-mini-explosion erupts somewhere on Enterprise. Hard to tell whether it was on the bridge, in the armory, or in its nightgown, and I rewound several times. Mathra runs through the room with one of my headbands over his eyes, screaming, "Coolant leak! We have a coolant leak!" and rolls under the couch. Quantum gets back in his chair, and T'Pol reports that the alien ship's shields are failing. Quantum orders the torpedoes fired. Reed fires them. Reed gets to do quite a lot of button-pushing in this episode. The shots hit home and the alien ship warps off, trailing green smoke. Quantum looks at peace with the universe and asks the armory if all is well. Trip reports some plasma relay blowouts on B-Deck, "but it's nothing we can't take care of." Hope no one was trying to write their thesis on B-Deck. Trip asks how their "friends" are. "I have a feeling their repairs are going to be a little more extensive," Quantum tells him. Trip and Reed grin at each other. Quantum asks after the health of the cannons, and Reed reports they stood up "fairly well." "I'll have them back online within the hour. The aft cannon should be working by the end of day tomorrow," Reed concludes. Ah, there's that third cannon. "Good work," Quantum says, and then ruins the rest of the scene by John Wayne-ing around. "Well, I see no reason to go back to Jupiter Station now -- do you?" he asks. T'Pol does not. Hoshi says that, as they've retraced their steps this far back, they can position another sub-space amplifier. "Get on it," Quantum orders, and tells Mayflower to "resume [their] previous course." Yes, the course to mediocrity. Mayflower is visibly relieved: "Gladly, sir!"
Somewhere in the Armory, three glasses of beer clink. "To our mysterious friends," Trip says. "I wish we could've seen the looks on their faces." "Hear, hear," Reed says as he, Trip, and Quantum quaff. I see it's Miller Time. Quantum tells them not to get used to drinking on duty, "but you did your jobs pretty damn well, yesterday. I'd say that deserves a little celebration." "Cheers," the Brit responds. "If you really want to thank us," Trip says, "how about letting us sleep in tomorrow?" They all chuckle. "Permission granted," Quantum says magnanimously. Hoshi walks in with a space case. No, not Mayflower -- an actual container case. But do The Men offer her a beer? Nope. Whatever -- Hoshi probably would prefer a good, thick glass of stout to wimpy, watery domesticated crap. Quantum asks what they can do for her, and Hoshi apologizes for interrupting, but she has "that component" he requested. "Great, put it down right here," Quantum tells her. Trip and Quantum open the case, as Reed remains sitting. "As long as we've got you here, Malcolm --" Quantum says, and pulls out a white-frosted cake with "Happy Birthday Malcolm" written on it in red icing. "You shouldn't have gone to any trouble," Reed says, standing up, but clearly moved. "Oh, no trouble at all," Cpt. Beer-Belly says, somehow managing to take the credit. He hands over an implement and encourages Reed to cut up and serve. Reed cuts a piece and examines it. "Pineapple!" he exclaims, "that's my favorite --" He eyes Hoshi. "How on earth did you know?" he asks, looking at all of them. Quantum shrugs and looks at Hoshi. Bet Reed feels really stupid now for assuming that Hoshi wanted his body. "We have our sources," Hoshi grins. Yeah, personal and private medical records.