Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cannon in D-fense
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.15.2002
Bridge. T'Pol reports that that the alien ship has returned like a particularly pernicious case of thrush. Mayflower asks if he should employ "evasive maneuvers." Quantum nixes that and orders the ship to come about, the better to face the Praying Mantises head-on with a chip on Enterprise's shoulder. Quantum alerts the armory: "Guess who's back?" Reed reports that they are aware of the varlets and have their cannons standing at the ready. T'Pol tells Quantum the ship is closing in, and Hoshi reports that they are being hailed. "Put it through," Quantum orders. Archer's own voice and ugly mug confronts them on their viewscreen and tells them, "You are defenseless. Prepare to surrender your vessel. You are defenseless. Prepare to surrender your vessel." Basically, it is supposed to look like the Praying Mantis aliens cobbled that message together from that state of the nation speech Quantum gave to them via their UHF link in Launch Bay Two and put it on a loop. You can even see Reed and T'Pol in their positions in the background. However, in reviewing the speech I find that Quantum only said "you," "are," "to," and "defenseless." He never said "vessel," "your," "surrender," or "prepare." One could argue that the aliens just used that speech as a key to create further words in the human language, but they still attempt to make it look like the visual Quantum is actually mouthing the words.
Quantum is very annoyed that his Gettysburg Address was so distorted, and orders Hoshi to hang up on the aliens. But between you and me, I think he's just afraid he looks ten pounds heavier on alien television. Quantum orders Reed to fire with both cannons. Aren't they supposed to have three, or did they only manage to install one extra? Enterprise fires, but the shots glide greenly and harmlessly off the Praying Mantis ship's shields. T'Pol reports, "I'm reading a fluctuation in their shielding, but it's marginal." "Is that the best we can do, Lieutenant?" Quantum bellows. "Even if these cannons had been installed at Jupiter Station, they wouldn't be any more effective than they are now," Reed reports defensively. Get it? "Defensively"? Okay, so basically, I'm the only one who finds myself amusing. ["Au contraire. I'm still snickering at the 'Exposition Government Cheddar' thing." -- Sars] Quantum wants to know what happened yesterday when they managed to blow something up "the size of Mount McKinley." Reed explains that that was "due to an overload." You can hear the creaking of unused metal as the wheels turn in Quantum's head. "Can you overload them again?" he asks. Reed doesn't think that's a very good idea, considering the damage they caused the last time. "Can you overload them again?!" Quantum asks again. Reed says he can. "I'd rather knock out two decks than surrender to this ship," Quantum churls. Reed starts to protest, but Trip has a brainwave about how to handle the recoil. He technobabbles his explanation about using the recoil energy to maintain the ship's structural integrity. Sure. Why not? Reed gives back a technobabble argument about the ship's exterior not being designed to withstand such force, but Quantum orders them to do it anyway.