Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Cannon in D-fense
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.15.2002
Hoshi and Quantum hold a whisper-conference. Hoshi hisses, "I tracked them down. It took me all week." Quantum asks where "they" are. "Kota Baharu," Hoshi tells him. Quantum pulls a Dubya, which prompts Hoshi to explain, "It's in Malaysia." Quantum asks about the time difference, and Hoshi tells him it's about nine o'clock in the Pee Em. Quantum divines that "they" should still be awake. "Let's break in that new amplifier, I'll be in my Ready Room," he tells her, and leaves. Now, if it had been Kirk, he'd have ordered her: "Let's break in that new mattress, I'll be in my quarters." And if it had been Picard, the line would have been, "Let's break in that new Shakespeare, I'll be on the stage." But if had been Janeway, well, she would have said, "Let's break that Prime Directive, I'll be fiddling with this new species." What? Allow me some fun, okay?
Quantum sits in front of a flat-screen monitor. "Is he all right?" a British woman asks anxiously in the background. Quantum assures her that "he's fine." "Is he in some kind of trouble?" a British man in the foreground asks with pursed lips. "No, sir!" Quantum chuckles, "Malcolm's doing a fine job. I'm sure you know it's his birthday in a couple of days." Malcolm's mother confirms that Malcolm's birthday is September 2nd. "We haven't seen our son on his birthday for quite a few years," Malcolm's father says sourly. What kind of bug got up his tea bag? Mater Reed tells Quantum that Malcolm "called" them from San Francisco to let them know he'd been assigned to the Enterprise, but since then, they have gotten nary a postcard. I suppose it's just a given that they use sub-space radio frequencies from country to country in this day and age. Pater Reed asks what his son's duties are. He puts a peculiar emphasis on "duties." "He's my armory officer," Quantum says, confused that the Mater and Pater didn't already know that. "Well, his grandfather would be pleased. He was an ordnance officer himself," Pater huffty-buffts. Quantum says some nice things, and Mater says that the Reeds have been in the navy for generations. "Until Malcolm decided to join Starfleet," Pater sniffs his Stilton. "I guess the ocean wasn't big enough for him." Quantum tells the Reeds that he'd like to do "something" for Malcolm's birthday, and asks what his favorite food at home was. This confuses the Reeds to no end. Pater states that Malcolm ate what was put in front of him and didn't whinge about it, and Mater says that Malcolm "has never been comfortable making requests." "Are you saying that he doesn't have a favorite food?" Quantum asks. "Not that he's ever told me," Mater chirrups. What is it about British women that they all sound like birds? Quantum is baffled -- again, not a new experience for him -- and requests that if the Reeds happen to think of anything, to let him know. "Give Malcolm our best," Mater says. Quantum assures her he will. "Safe journey, Captain," Pater says stiffly, and ends their face-to-face telephone call. I see that Reed enjoys the same warm and open relationship with his father as Wesley does.