Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 114 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT As Cool As I Am
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.20.2013
Strawmans: "We love you!"
Diane: "I love you too. Please don't feel entitled to ever pull this shit on me again, okay? It's really tone deaf and it makes me love you less. You come off like college freshmen."
"The best advice you ever gave me, Diane, when I met Lyle was, make sure your love can survive outside the bubble. I give it back to you."
Diane: "Okay that's valid. I do tend to spend time with alone, because we don't get a lot of it and because we hate all of each other's friends. So you've found a chink in the armor but it's not the chink you wanted and in fact you're going to make us stronger, so don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
CHRISSY DEPOS
Elsbeth: "How long have you worked at L/G?"
Viola: "LOL, can we at least say hello first?"
Elsbeth: "Hello, asshole. Chrissy, how long have you worked at L/G?"
Chrissy: "Like two years? As a paralegal I type, research, make copies, etc."
Elsbeth: "Cool and how did you lose your virginity?"
Viola: "Excuse me?"
Elsbeth: "Discovery. She alleges that Alicia asked her that, and I want to set the scene."
Chrissy: "I didn't answer."
Elsbeth: "Were you alone?"
Alicia: "...No, there were like ten people in the room. This little jerk over here, Chrissy, and then me and Cary and like six associates, and the client. The case was about a chick selling her virginity over the internet, and Classy Chrissy was giggling to herself, and I asked if she had anything add."
Elsbeth: "Those were your exact words?"
Alicia: "Yeah. That's the extent of it. Isn't this stupid? Viola and Chrissy, you're stupid."
Viola: "Okay Chrissy and then what happened?"
Chrissy: "Cary Agos asked me to stay late on a case, and the SA wanted to plead out, and..."
Cary: "And so I performed a fairly common gesture indicating that it was a pointless exercise."
Elsbeth: "Oh so you weren't... You didn't introduce it with any fanfare or anything, like, This is how I masturbate sometimes, nothing like that?"
Cary: "No, obviously not. Because she is still alive and no human could live through that."
Elsbeth: "Do you have any attack that isn't sexual?"
Viola: "No, this chick apparently has some weird ideas about some things. This next one is pretty good, though."