Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 114 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT As Cool As I Am
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.20.2013
Diane: "...Okay, now I'm making it weird. I gotta go."GOV OFC
True to her word, and her nasty petty little mindset, Eli returns to see Jackie replacing the state seal with Peter's portrait.
Jackie: "Any suggestions on where to cram it? I dare you."
Eli: "No, ma'am. No ideas at the moment."
Jackie: "How about right in your office? We'll wedge it in there real good."
COOK CTY CLERK'S OFC
Kurt McVeigh, that last post-oyster conversation still ringing in his ears, paces the hall in a nice suit, carrying a single immaculate lily. Everywhere he looks, people are celebrating, kissing, starting new lives together. He's all alone, twitchy as hell.
Just-Married Dude: "I got a sister you can marry...?"
Kurt: "Let's see how this goes? But thanks."
She enters in her giant glamour shades, bathed in light, even more beautiful than usual; he's so relieved he nearly weeps. And then they are married. The new life begins.
VIOLA WALSH
Elsbeth: "Pay the legal fees and we'll drop the whole thing."
Viola: "Uh, I thought I was winning? That rando video of Lyman being an old raper?"
Elsbeth: "Yeah, come here for a second, it's great."
Elsbeth: "So like, Chrissy accused literally every lead character at this firm of something... Except you. Isn't that weird?"
Kalinda: "Not that weird, no. I'm Kalinda?"
Elsbeth: "But Chrissy liked you more than the other ones?"
Kalinda: "Less a difference of degree than kind. Also location. I fucked that chick in every room on this floor."
Elsbeth: "Wait, don't you ladies work in this office?"
Kalinda: "In between the hot girl-and-girl action yeah, we get a little work done."
Elsbeth: "But I thought she was horrified by sex at work! Isn't that what this was..."
Viola: "All right, fine. I picked the wrong pony. Fine. God. But I still hate Diane for no good reason, and that's still gonna burn you next time."
DIANE
So that's two triumphs. The firm is going to be okay, without Diane, and Diane's going to be okay without the firm. But she does have one more responsibility.
She makes her way through the halls of the house she built -- "until it wasn't fun anymore, you said" -- and that still bears her name, and she thinks about her luck, and her options. Everywhere they're chatting (Viola flings some last-minute 'tude on her way out, a drive-by), but nobody stops her. She stands in her office, looking at every decision she ever made, when this was her world...