Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 114 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT As Cool As I Am
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.20.2013
Alicia: "That's true... Okay, awesome. No conflict."Will: "Yep. None at all. Everything is the opposite of weird."
Alicia: "I mean..."
Will: "It was two years ago. But yeah, it'll be on my mind for the rest of the day."
Alicia: "Only that long?"
Prepare for impact, you two. It's nice that the last good thing that'll ever happen here is them being cute, and relatively baggage-free, about the Good Timing. It is also deeply horrible, but not quite yet.
LYMAN
Elsbeth: "Guess who's not going away? Viola, who somehow ended up with that gross video of Lyman fully going after that other chick."
Lyman: "I'm so persecuted! In my day you could ride the paralegals around like show ponies and everybody just knew it was a good time! Except the paralegals, of course."
Will: "Is it possible there has been a leak this whole time? Specifically somebody who's worked here as an associate for four years?"
Alicia: "Anything's possible, I guess. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to once again treat my future partners as though they are fucking kindergartners."
OYSTER BAR
For some reason, Diane is surprised that Kurt's friends are all hot Ballistics undergrads, despite hitting that shoal on more than one occasion before. They all look like beer commercial models, they dote on him like the righteous old hottie that he is, and Diane is more flabbergasted by the situation than when she was randomly accused of sexual harassment the other day.
Afterwards she's like, "Was that a mean trick or do you actually not have real friends?" Eventually he gets her to ask the question, and then pulls over so she'll hear him when he says that no, in fact, he has not slept with anybody in this batch, and she needs to calm down with that stuff. But she's rattled enough that she is back to wondering what they're even doing together: Why are they getting married, if this is what's outside that bubble? A bunch of weirdness, and her, suddenly acting super basic about it?
That's not the life, and this is not the kind of woman she imagines herself to be; it's the kind of woman she's always disliked most, because it means betrayal: If you find yourself becoming afraid of women, then only men will ever win.
JACKIE O
Jackie's got Ronnie on his back for a tummy rub within three seconds, reminiscing and being an odd pair indeed; she asks if his wife would mind them going for a drink, and they both know she's already won. It is marvelous on every level; it would be so nice to like her, but that can never happen until she leaves Eli alone. Even fighting Alicia, she's kind of awesome, but the Eli stuff is so, so unattractive. Maybe they'll team up against Marilyn, once Peter notices he wants to fuck her: That would make all four of them pretty fantastic, for a minute.