Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 114 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT As Cool As I Am
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.20.2013
Diane: "Okay, conference room full of my betraying former partners, what do you want?"
Will: "Viola's suing us via a paralegal."
Diane: "Cool, have fun with that."
Will: "The thing is that she says you sexually harassed her?"
Diane: "Cool, have... Wait, what? Wait. What?"
Lyman: "Didn't hold Justice Clarence Thomas back, kiddo. I wouldn't worry."
Meanwhile, the Strawmans are yelling about Sandy Hook, and it's so dumb because first of all, who are these people that would do this at random lunch to a stranger, much less to their closest friend's fiancé, and also just shut up with your emotional argument that little dead kids are somehow a legal fact on par with the commonly accepted misreading of the Second Amendment. Shut it down, Strawmans. I appreciate the idea of making liberal elites look as stupid as Benghazi Republicans in theory, but the problem with that kind of false equivalency is: They simply aren't. Which is the entire problem in a nutshell. And frankly, if Kurt McVeigh weren't so wonderful, he'd be a total cartoon too.
David Lee: "Fuck all of you. She slimes us, we slime her. Get Kalinda on this."
Diane: "Hang on, who are we even talking about? What is this?"
Alicia: "Um, Chrissy Quinn. She said you asked her to prostitute herself to a client..."
Diane: "Bonkers."
Alicia: "I know. And that Cary showed her his masturbation strategy..."
Diane: "Awesome."
Alicia: "I know. And that Lyman tried to rape her."
Lyman: "I'm so sure. I don't even know who she is, how'm I supposed to know if I tried to rape her or not?"
Alicia: "And I went after her personal life in some prurient way. It's just stupid, Diane."
Will: "This is all Viola Walsh, just being jelly, but you know how she is. This isn't going away."
Diane: "Okay, this is actually my responsibility. What do you need me to do?"
Alicia: "Say we settle for $2M. The insurance will cover two-fifths of that, but the blowback with the clients that you are totally going to want to hold onto..."
Will & David Lee: "Fuck that. Nobody sex-anythinged this lady. Plus Viola Walsh is the worst."
ELSBETH TASCIONI
Has an office like a person would have, mostly, which is new. She's replaced her giant toadstool and the cabbage patch with chairs, but still no desk: Some kind of ornate treadmill with almost as much desk space as any standing situation, and she's just walking a steady pace, looking down on them from a great height, as they consult. She has one of those fitness robot bracelets that is always watching, always judging.