Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Happy Jennaversary!
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 07.10.2012
Hanna: "Well, I ain't going. Not unless there's a bean-bag room where I can just lay around feeling awful forever."
Aria: "I'm going. I am going to that party."
Everybody stares at her forever, because Aria doing one goddamn thing is a sure sign of the coming Apocalypse. Ariagnarok. Möntgomerdämmerung. The Feathered Serpent of the Fifth Sun.
RUMMAGE SALE
Hanna: "This is the pits."
Ashley: "You would have been miserable either way, think of it like that."
Silver Fox: "Hey, I'm gigantic and hot. How do you feel about philanthropists?"
Ashley: "Anything but architects. Listen, I just came back to check on my daughter and steal from the snack table at this homeless shelt..."
Silver Fox: "Yeah, I don't care about any of that. I'm just gonna be adorable until you date me."
Ashley: "You'll be surprised how that works out, I wager."
Silver Fox: "I'm Ted."
Ashley: "I'm Ashley. Or, as you'll think of me in a few months' time, 'Crazy Ashley.' What's your opinion on drinking large amounts of wine at all times?"
EZRA FITZ PIED-À-TERRE
Ezra: "Oh, what now? Stashing yet more food in my fridge?"
Aria: "No, I just want to get dinner with you out of the way so we can hit that Jenna party together."
Ezra: "I made us dinner reservations in New Hope! I've been selling my plasma and CDs all day to cover the cost!"
Aria: "I don't remember authorizing that. In fact, I'm pretty sure I told you how tonight was gonna go down."
Ezra: "But you hate that girl!"
Aria: "Exactly. Or I used to, until you talked some sense into me. You've always been my moral GPS. I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do."
Ezra: "My favorite song of all time! You are too much."
Ezra: "Hey, I got you a present."
Aria: "Is that... Is it wrapped in a grocery sack? Is that a reference to the most horrific thing we ever perpetrated together? What kind of poor-person bohemian hell have I gotten myself into?"
Ezra: "It's some kind of ancient pretentious camera. I sold all of my belongings to buy it for you, so I would feel like a man again."
Aria: "Well, this is one way to make our relationship more complicated and interesting."
HOSPITAL
Spencer follows Garrett through the hospital, giving Emily hilarious bitchy color-commentary the entire time.