Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Can't Always Get What You Want
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.22.2005
Lucy invites Kevin to join her on a house-hunting expedition. He says it's Sunday, and he thought Lucy didn't house-hunt on the Sabbath. Hey, Kevin: Don't look a gift pumpkin in the mouth, okay? Lucy says that her love of God is not so powerful that she can't go against her interpretation of his will when it's convenient. Kevin refuses to accompany Lucy because he thinks it's a waste of time. Lucy says she is totally committed finding a house and her marriage is important to her and stuff. "Talk is cheap," Kevin snarls. And judging by the quality of the dialogue on this show, I'd agree. They can't be paying these writers any more than ten dollars a week.
Vincent and his doofy-looking tucked-in t-shirt meet Ruthie on the Promenade. "Say it isn't so!" is her dramarrific greeting. Vincent says it is so; he's going to Hawaii this summer and he wants to meet some hot babes. But he's relieved that Ruthie is taking it so well this time, what with the lack of tears and yelling. Ruthie explains that that doesn't mean she isn't sad, just that someone finally wised up and saw that she couldn't pull off such emotion, so they stopped trying to write it in for her. "Goodbye Vincent. Have fun in Hawaii," she says. "Oh, and…never call me again. Ever." Yeah, nice effort trying to give him the hand there, Ruthie, but your ass got DUMPED! The scene ends before we can see Vincent's awesome retort: "In Hawaiian, 'aloha' means 'hello'…and 'GOODBYE!'"
Kevin explains to the twins that Annie isn't the reason all their siblings keep leaving the house. Well, she is, because she's so freaking horrible that no one with a choice would live anywhere near her, but she's not actively trying to make people leave. And, says Kevin, as the twins grow, they'll be in the house less and less too. He says they'll go to school and college and "meet a nice girl," who will presumably be kinky enough to enjoy dating two brothers at the same time, and leave home. Until then, Lucy and Kevin will make sure they have a room in their new house just for the twins when they visit. "I love you," SamVid say. "And Lucy and I and Savannah love you," says Kevin. Hey, don't speak for Savannah! I prefer to believe that she hates everyone in this house, and has had many a late-night strategy session with Happy to figure out how to get the hell out of it. Kevin asks SamVid who else loves them. "Mom?" they guess, after having to think about it for a while. "Yeah. Mom," says Kevin. Happy growls angrily, because she's awesome.