Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Can't Always Get What You Want
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.22.2005
Rose breezes into the kitchen and asks what's for lunch because she is starving. "Sandwiches," says Annie, "maybe you'd like to help us?" Rose says it's "sweet" of Annie to make her guests get their own damn food, but she's not in the mood. Also, she doesn't like sandwiches, so she wants soup for lunch instead. How do you not like all sandwiches? I can understand not liking some sandwiches, like maybe you don't like ham or wheat bread, but you can't just have a blanket dislike of all sandwiches! As Rose leaves the kitchen, Lucy says that she doesn't like her. She says that Kevin is currently talking to Simon, because, while she's willing to stay out of Mary's affairs, Simon is "another story," since his portrayer is actually ON the show.
Kevin stands over Simon, arms crossed. He's using the interrogation methods he read about in his Glenoak Police Department Handbook to figure out what Simon's intentions are towards Rose. Sadly, the Glenoak Police Department Handbook doesn't say that when discussing STDs, it might be wise to actually say what the STD is, so it remains a MysterSTD. Simon says that he isn't having sex with Rose, and Kevin laughs at him. Simon says he's telling the truth. Kevin says that this makes him "more worried," because now he thinks that Simon and Rose are really serious with each other. Simon says they aren't getting married. Kevin asks if Rose feels the same way.
Simon runs outside and finds Rose in the backyard. She asks if they can go out to lunch. Simon says that his family thinks they're getting married. Rose is fine with that; didn't they talk about getting married just last episode? Simon says they talked, but he doesn't have any intention of marrying anyone right now. Rose makes a sad face. "Rose, we just met," Simon says; "I like you, I might even love you. But…marriage?" Rose walks away angrily, because it's really mean when a guy who doesn't even love you says he's not too thrilled with the idea of being with you for the rest of his life.
Simon enters the kitchen and announces to Kevin, Annie, and Lucy that he and Rose are not getting married. "I don't even know if we're dating anymore," he adds. They look sad about this because they're hypocrites.
Oh, crap. The Davis children are back. RevCam, Greta, George, and Gwen take turns explaining to them the situation with their mother. Li'l Non-Orphan Danny, his voice thick with Valium, flatly wonders why their mother wants custody of them now. Meredith looks down at her weird Little House on the Prairie shirt and frowns, because it's ugly, but you take what you can get at the Group Home. Kelly, of course, is still suffering from some serious nasal congestion and a lack of bipedal mobility. Greta explains that their mother was hoping that no one would want to adopt her kids, which isn't such a far-fetched thing to hope for to me, so that they would still be her kids, but she wouldn't have to actually take care of them. Kind of like Annie what does with the twins, except that Annie is the best mother ever and the Davis mom is EVIL. Greta says that if they want, they can go to court and try to terminate their mother's parental rights. "Court?" asks LND. "You mean, like a judge?" says Meredith. No, like a fucking tennis court. I hate these people and I'm sick of watching them, so I'll make the rest of this quick: they refuse to testify against their mother and everyone is all surprised that there are people in the world who don't enjoy talking shit about their family members.