Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT You Can't Always Get What You Want
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.22.2005
Rose pulls Simon about a foot away from their previous position to talk to him privately. As Annie cranes her neck to eavesdrop on their conversation, Rose suggests that they spend the night in her parents' huge unoccupied house. Simon says he doesn't trust her not to jump him in the middle of the night and force him to have sex with her. Rose giggles and they start to kiss, because rape is funny and hot. "Hello! I'm still in the room!" Annie says, like she suddenly has a problem with watching her children make out. They pull themselves off of each other and Rose says she'd be happy to stay on a couch. Even Rose knows not to spend a night in Ruthie's room if she doesn't have to. Simon rushes off to make up the couch for Rose, leaving the two insane women in his life alone together. Rose tells Annie that the CamPound is "cute" and says she's seen some decorating shows and has always been surprised at how little money the budget-conscious need to decorate their ridiculously huge mansions.
The next morning, Annie gets ready for church by telling RevCam how much she hates thy neighbor, thy neighbor being Rose. "She's condescending and rude and I think she's trying to push Simon into a serious relationship," Annie explains. It is said that we often hate those in whom we see ourselves. RevCam is confused; he thought they wanted Simon to be in a serious relationship. Annie explains that while they don't want Simon to have casual sex, they also don't want him to be in a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. So what, exactly, do they want Simon to do? He can't have sex until marriage, but he can't get married, either. Nor can he any relationships with women, serious or casual. And he probably can't be gay or masturbate. He's doomed to a lifetime of eunuchdom, it seems. RevCam asks Annie what makes her think that Simon and Rose are going to get married. "Trust me," says Annie; "a mother knows." She has Mother Feelings. RevCam timidly suggests that Annie is overreacting, then braces himself for her wrath. "NO!" she shouts. RevCam says that he doesn't like Rose either, "based on the five-minute conversation [he] had with her while she was using [their] bathroom." Well, that's not fair. I hardly think that one is at her best when she's doing something in the bathroom that takes five minutes, which is too short for a shower and too long for a pee. It was probably a strained conversation, to say the least. Also, and probably more importantly…is RevCam saying he was IN the bathroom with her? Is this how the CamPound residents deal with their glut of people and lack of bathrooms, by all using it at the same time? Are RevCam and Kevin crossing their streams while Ruthie brushes her teeth and Lucy splashes in the tub? I hope the next time Greta visits, she can bear witness to this so that Ruthie, SamVid, and Savannah can be taken away to one of those group homes, which, evil as they are, probably have adequate bathroom coverage.