Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Never Was There A Tale Of More Woe!
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.18.2003
Friar Mako's Emporium Of Elixirs and Unguents. Mako distills Big Gay Chris's crimson potion into a vial as Big Chris asks, "Are you sure this is gonna work?" "As long as it doesn't make you violently ill," Friar Mako mildly replies. "Side effects," Mako shrugs off of Big Chris's deadpan glare. "You never know." Part Check: It's back on the left, but the surrounding locks have been foofed out a bit. "You sure it's worth the risk?" Friar Mako asks. Big Chris wouldn't have gone through the tremendous hassle of wading through the Florida wetlands if it weren't. Mako passes the vial to Big Chris, who wanders off to examine it in better light. "He won't tell me," the good Friar complains to an unseen, suspiciously Dolt-like presence. "Tell you what?" Big Chris mutters without turning around. "What you need the potion for," the Dolt's voice echoes as he materializes over by a brazier. "Other than your secrets, that is," he adds, easing over to Friar Mako's side. "This was a setup?" Big Chris snaps, outraged. Referring to the vial, he bitches, "This isn't even legit?" "It's legit," Friar Mako confirms, "but I'm afraid you have to answer to a higher power now." He toddles off to let the boys piss and moan at each other. Long story short, Big Gay Chris promises that the potion was meant to block Piper and Raige's emotions from Phoebe's stoopid new power. "You expect me to believe this wasn't meant to protect your secrets?" the Dolt grits. Big Chris is all, "Whatever. I've had it with this bullshit." Or maybe that was me. Fortunately, Piper rings the Dolt's bell at this point. Big Gay Chris smirks, "Looks like [My Tiny Gay Self] needs another babysitter, Dad." And that time, he actually added the "Dad" bit himself. The Dolt frowns and orbs off, taking the completed potion with him. "All right," Big Chris nods as he claps his hands together. "How fast can you make another one?" Friar Mako goggles.
Castle Montanague. "Take it," Rolivia croons as she presses a bottle of green liquid into Slampiece Buttfuck's hand. "You can do it." An explosion shudders through the main hallway. Benvolio ducks into the study to scream, "They're attacking!" Buttfuck and Rolivia share a searching look fraught with significance before he snatches up the potion and darts out into the hall. What follows is a badly filmed and edited fight scene between the Montanagues and the Callapulets out in the hallway. Or maybe it's the library. Hell, it might be taking place in some entirely new room we've never seen before. The point is, things get pretty muddled, and it's nearly impossible to make sense of them, thanks in no small part to the writer's decision to leave half of these people without proper names. So, I'll touch on the most important bits…