Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Never Was There A Tale Of More Woe!
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.18.2003
Attic. Piper explains to Lord Callapulet that a ghost is responsible for the late unpleasantness, and turns to offer a few séance instructions to the others assembled in the room as she lights a couple of candles. The most important of these instructions is "not to break the circle" before they've helped the spirit "move on," otherwise they'll have an irritated ghost "running amok" through the streets of San Francisco. Benvolio, agitated, tries to bolt, but Slampiece Buttfuck holds him back, insisting they remain to "see this thing through." Benvolio has good reason to be agitated, as we shall see, but let's first join the séance already in progress.
The group rings the table upon which Piper has placed the candles, and, one by one, they link hands. There's a moment of silent tension between Lord Callapulet and Lady Montanague before they finally latch onto each other, completing the circle. Piper turns to Raige, who recites the following:
Unknown spirit, we call to thee,
Those who wish to set you free:
Cross on over so we may help,
Come to us, reveal yourself.
"Cross on over"? I'll cross on over to smack you in the teeth for that hillbilly sentence construction, is what I'll do. Just saying. A whirlwind whips through the room, gradually shrinking in size until it swirls about above the table for a moment, then coalescing into Olivia's spectral form. She greets her father with apparent kindness before pivoting in the air to make cooing noises at her erstwhile fiancé. Lord Callapulet splutters, "But you attacked us. Why?" Olivia pivots back in that skipped-frame movement that apparently indicates ghostly irritation and spits, "Because you didn't avenge my death. That's why." "You were hit by one of your own," Lady Montanague breathes. "Not exactly true," Olivia sneers, skip-pivoting to face Benvolio. "Is it, Steve?" Busted! "This can't be you," Buttfuck insists. Oh, but it can, Buttfuck. It can. "I was wrong about the feud," Olivia insists. "But we can still be together -- after I get my revenge!" Olivia's spectral presence blows apart into a concussion wave that snuffs out the candles and forces the group backwards several steps. The circle's broken when Lady Montanague's hand slips from Lord Callapulet's grasp. They hurl accusations at each other for a bit before Lord Callapulet gathers his clan and stomps out. Lady Montanague shoots a withering glare at Benvolio before taking her leave as well. Benvolio guiltily shuffles after her, followed by Slampiece Buttfuck, despite Raige's exhortations that they all remain in the Manor. Raige, thwarted and furious, wheels on Phoebe and seethes, "Next time I tell you to butt out? BUTT OUT!" Atta girl. She races after Buttfuck, leaving Piper and the Dolt to gape. Phoebe's all, "The baby made me do it! No, um, wait a minute -- it's Cole! He's back! From Miami! Yeah, that's it! And he's…possessing my implants! My Cole-possessed implants made me do it!"