Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Instant Karma!
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.15.2002
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey sits at the bar and reads On The Road. Oliver swings past and notes that their paper is due Monday. "You better get cracking," he tells her. "Oh my God, will you please go away?" Joey asks. She is a delight, isn't she? Oliver just grins and bustles behind the bar, wondering what she thinks of the book so far. "If I tell you will you leave me alone?" Joey asks. Oliver crosses his heart and hopes to die. Joey announces that On The Road sucks. This may be the only time I ever agree with Joey. I'm sorry. I just don't like that book. "Huh," Oliver says. Joey continues, saying that On the Road is plotless and meandering. "It's all macho posturing and misogyny," she says. And that, actually, was my beef with it. Huh. I just agreed with little Joey Potter. Clearly, the end of the world is at hand. Oliver "hmm"s yet again. Joey snappishly demands to know the meaning of his "hmm." Oliver shrugs that it doesn't mean anything. He's just learning about her, that's all. Joey wants to know what the hell that means. Is he insinuating that she's "deficient in some way?" Defensive and insecure, table for one! Oliver swears that he just thought her opinion was interesting. Joey snaps that she doesn't need him to patronize her. "Oh, my God, why are you so angry?" Oliver finally asks, leaning on the bar to get a better look at her orange, orange face. Joey sputters that she's not angry. "Is it a guy?" Oliver asks, grinning. "Is, is it about a guy?" He's so very cute. I never would have classified myself as a big Oliver Hudson fan, but I'm really finding him super-dreamy. And I usually go for boys with cleaner hair! Joey sputters that it must be about a boy, mustn't it? She doesn't like Oliver because a boy broke her heart, not because Oliver is "objectionable." Oliver just cocks a half-grin and nods calmly. "Really? You don't like me?" is all he says. "I need to get back to work, so can you please stop talking to me?" Joey snaps. Oliver just stands there and smiles at her. A phone trills in the background. "Wow," Oliver finally says, opining that whomever the heartbreaker was, he certainly "did a number" on La Potter. Joey just glares at him and opens her mouth to snap something bratty, but he heads her off at the pass by strolling away to answer the phone. Joey opens and closes her mouth like a blowfish as Oliver holds up a calm Please Be Quiet index finger and starts making arrangements for a catering delivery. Joey rolls her eyes hugely.
Let's go over to the Boiler Room, where Pacey sits in his cube in his pink shirt and his pink tie and his increasingly awful hair. He's on the phone with Audrey, who's at a bar somewhere. She's pissed because he's running late. And then she's even more pissed because he tells her that he can't make it at all. Audrey, by the way, looks terrible. Busy Philipps is quite cute, but they're dressing her really poorly this season. Exhibit A: She's wearing a milkmaid's bodice. I have one of those…that I wear on Halloween with my St. Pauli girl costume. Anyway, poor Audrey whines that she hasn't seen Pacey in "actual days" and they have a party to go to! She wants him there, and she doesn't want any of his "lame excuses." Pacey shrugs. "I've got to study," he says. "No, you've got to spend time with your girlfriend," Audrey snits, then starts whinging that she doesn't even remember what sex is like, and therefore she might be forced to "shag a stranger" to jog her memory. Yes, threatening infidelity is a surefire way to get your boyfriend to give you some play. Pacey looks all put upon at the other end of the line. He swears that he's all hers -- tomorrow. Cue some schmoopy discussion about their sexual habits that I really don't want to recap, both because I feel like it's unnecessary and because I am totally distracted by the fact that Audrey has yet another poorly concealed blemish right by her mouth. I'm not sure what horrible thing Busy did to her facialist, but I suspect it included arson. Audrey sighs that "the mature, responsible Pacey is a big fat drag." Pacey sighs that this is "duly noted." She shrilly gives him permission to go be "studious and boring." He wearily tells her to be "debaucherous and silly." They hang up. Break up already, you two.