Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Instant Karma!
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.15.2002
Movie Set Of Mind-Numbing Boredom. Joey and Oliver pull up with all the food. Joey makes a face when she sees where they are. Oliver, not seeing her sour expression, cheerfully explains that it's some slasher movie. "Great," Joey bitches. Oh, shut up. You think you're the first person ever to run into her ex-boyfriend? Try going to school with him, princess.
Par-tay! Jen and Audrey are playing quarters with two strange boys. Aw, man, I love quarters. Audrey's cell phone rings; it's Pacey. She's so very drunk that she screams into the receiver that she's a dumb, rich bitch, and then thoughtlessly dunks her phone in a full glass of beer. Everyone chortles drunkenly and uncomfortably, and Audrey chugs her own beer mindlessly. "Audrey, slow down. Seriously," Jen says. Audrey takes a deep breath. "Okay, whose turn is it?" she asks. Jen, in her own drunken stupor, looks mildly uncomfortable. ["And then she barfs on her hand. Heh." -- Sars]
I don't know why they don't have craft services on Todd's slasher pic, but whatever. Joey and Oliver deliver the food, and Joey goes to find out who's authorized to pay them. Authorized To Pay For Food Delivery Guy is, of course, Dawson. "Great," Joey spits, and heads over to visit her erstwhile soulmate. She stares at him for a good minute before he looks up to see her. "Hey, what are you doing here?" he spits, not unkindly. "Nice to see you, too," Joey brats. Dawson sputters that he's just surprised to see her, which I actually think is a pretty fair reaction. Joey explains that she delivered all their food. She didn't know she was bringing nutrients to him, of all people! "Believe me, had I known," she begins. "It's okay," Dawson says. "I wasn't exactly apologizing," Joey snits. "No, why would you?" Dawson retorts. And they're off! "What's that supposed to mean?" Joey asks. Before Dawson can explain that she's a spoiled brat who never apologizes for anything, Natasha comes running toward him, Todd in close pursuit. Natasha trots to a halt in front of Joey. Todd nicely greets the Orange One. "Natasha, have you meet Dawson's friend? Joey, isn't it?" he asks, cueing up three very uncomfortable faces. "Oh, my God. This is her, isn't it?" Natasha wonders. "You had the nerve to bring her here? The girl you dumped me for after I gave you the best sex of your life?" Todd's wide-eyed expression at these revelations is hilarious. I really think his eyes would roll out of their sockets, were such a thing physiologically possible. Dawson awkwardly attempts to get Natasha to shut up, but no go. "What? I'm just quoting you, Dawson," she says. Off in the distance, Oliver looks sensitive and dreamy. Oh, and also sympathetic to Joey's plight. Natasha snarks that she hopes she's not embarrassing Dawson. Because she certainly wouldn't want to embarrass "Dawson Leery, what with his chivalrous nature and oh so quiet dignity!" Todd's eyes bug out even farther. He cocks a hilarious brow. Finally, Natasha turns to Joey. "See, Dawson's the kind of guy who will walk a girl home, you know?" she explains. "Help her over a rain puddle. A real gentleman. Then he sleeps with her, tells her it's the best he ever had and breaks up with her answering machine!" Joey puts on her stone face. "So nice to meet you," Natasha finally trills, and stomps away. Joey gives Dawson one last hairy eyeball and leaves. Dawson looks pained. Todd, on the other hand, looks thrilled and impressed.
At the party, Jack and Professor Ambiguously Gay drink beer and talk about The Simpsons. Jack can't believe how cool Professor Ambiguously Gay is! Professor Ambiguously Gay thinks Jack has "a natural gift for looking beneath the surface and seeing what's really going on!" Dude! That anvil crushed my favorite Isaac Mizrahi pumps, the ones I just got off eBay. Bite me, Professor Ambiguously Gay. But Jack just chuckles and thanks him. Professor Ambiguously Gay sits on the frat house stoop and exposits that he met his wife at a party like this in grad school. "Seems like a million years ago. She's pregnant. She just told me yesterday," he blurts. Jack looks at him sharply. "Everything just feels little too real," Professor Ambiguously Gay overshares, then apologizes. Jack brushes it off. After a brief moment of uncomfortable silence, Professor Ambiguously Gay admits that he feels ridiculous at a student party. "It's ridiculous that you feel ridiculous," Jack yelps, sitting on the stoop next to him. Didn't we already do this Inappropriate Student/Teacher Relationship plot, like, last year? And during the first season? Did no one on the Dawson's Creek writing staff have a successful, non-icky relationship with a teacher?