Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Instant Karma!
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.15.2002
Party of the bored. Audrey's railing drunkenly against Pacey as Jen and Jack loll about, totally not listening. Audrey veers into complaining about her sex life, and everyone in the world puts his or her fingers in their respective ears and starts singing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" at the top of their lungs. Jack makes a series of amusing pained faces, and finally, Jen gets up, announcing loudly that she needs a beer (as do I, thank you very much). She abandons Jack posthaste.
There's a bar at this party? And there's no line? Okay. I guess I've suspended disbelief as far as the Dawson Sleeps With A Movie Star plot, so why not this? Jen, turning away from the bar with a plastic cup of beer, runs right into Blandy Blands, spilling her beer all over what I have just noticed is a very nice, tight set of abs. "Oh my God, look what I did!" Jen squeals. Blandy laughs blandly and starts patting at his wet stomach. Jen sputters that she can't believe she spilled on someone who doesn't even drink. "And it's cold and it's smelly, and I'm touching you, and I'm going to stop," she finished. Hee. Blandy looks vaguely amused by this. "Hi," he says. And then she speed-freaks about how she's a drunk, drunk drunkard and they're at a party and people drink at parties and if that bothers him, then he shouldn't come to parties, because people get drunk at parties, because drinking happens at parties. "It's just a party fact," she finally finishes. And it is. I was at two parties this weekend and I was drunk at -- okay, one of them. But there were drunk people at the second one, too! Blandly smiles down at her crookedly. He's not nearly as bland when he smiles. In fact, he's actually pretty cute. If only he'd lose the nasty man-choker. Blandy comments that Jen must think he's the squarest kid in the world She stutters that she's sure he's "tons of fun!" He just looks at her. "I'm going to go," Jen announces suddenly. And the girl wonders why the boys aren't knocking her door down.
Elsewhere at the party, Audrey continues to whine about Pacey -- specifically, about the fact that he hasn't called her yet. Meanwhile, Jack searches frantically for something to kill himself with. Mid-search, he sees Professor Ambiguously Gay stroll into the room. "Oh, my God," Jack says, and runs off, leaving Audrey alone with her incredibly boring pain.
Jack wonders what Professor Ambiguously Gay is doing at a student party. Professor Ambiguously Gay explains that he teaches a "cool" class, and due to this, he occasionally gets invited to such functions. Jack suggests they get some beers! Woo! Get Professor Ambiguously Gay liquored up and have your way with him, Jack!