Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Instant Karma!
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.15.2002
Elsewhere, Pacey stands in a strip club and tries to call his irritating girlfriend. Wow, just when I think I couldn't care any less, I go and surprise myself. Anyway, Audrey doesn't pick up the phone, as it's drowning in a glass of Bud, and Pacey hangs up, frustrated. Bobby Briggs slithers over and demands that Pacey come over and check out the hot naked strippers. So he does. But only after a long, boring conversation in which Bobby Briggs makes up this very, very dull story about how he once hurt his girlfriend, but in the end, she just knew he was sorry and he never even really had to apologize and Pacey, to his credit, doesn't buy that line of bullshit whatsoever but goes and looks at the nudie dancers anyway.
Party. Frat Rat One is hitting on a clearly way too drunk Audrey, who really just wants to sleep on this lovely little velvet fainting couch that no frat in the world has ever owned. She drawls that she's very dumb and rich. You said it, I didn't, sweetpea. He swears that he doesn't mind that she's dumb and rich. I'm sure, in fact, that he prefers it. "You're sweet, I think," Audrey slurs, and begins to suck his face. He then pulls the old "let's find a place where we can be alone" shtick, dragging a very messy Audrey to the stairwell, where Jen is talking to Frat Rat Two about the White Stripes. Jen sees them, and calls Audrey's name. Frat Rat One pushes Audrey past Jen and up the stairs, explaining that they're going to the bedroom. "Don't you think she's a little drunk?" Jen wonders. And man, is she. She's about to pass out. "Don't you think you should mind your own business?" Frat Rat Two snaps. Audrey slurs that she's fine. Jen, good friend that she is, doesn't think that anything about this situation is okay. She tries to follow them up the stairs, but Frat Rat Two won't let her pass. "If you don't get out of my way in the next five seconds, I will separate you from your genitalia," she finally spits. Passing by, Blandy hears this and steps in, asking what's going on. Jen explains the situation, but not without Frat Rat Two interjecting that "[Blandy's] psycho chick friend is freaking out." Blandy shrugs and points out that if Jen's over-reacting, then it won't be a problem if they go check out the situation. He then shoves Frat Rat Two away from the stairs and bounds up to rescue Audrey.
Upstairs, Audrey stumbles into Frat Rat One's bedroom. Man, this is just like that episode of 90210 when Kelly almost got raped by the cowboy at the Halloween party where she was all gussied up like a trampy witch woman and Donna was in that mermaid outfit and couldn't walk and Brenda and Dylan were Bonnie and Clyde. Instead of Steve Sanders, however, it is Jen who races inside to rescue the fair maiden, informing Audrey that they're leaving, like, right now. Frat Rat One sort of shoves Jen away, telling her to leave them alone. So Blandy gets all in Frat Rat One's face and physically holds him away from the girls, allowing them to scamper away. "I didn't do anything, man," Frat Rat One whines. Blandy just glares at him and walks away.