Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT P3 H2O
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 12.08.1999
Sure, Jack from Will and Grace, I believe you're straight in that 1-800-COLLECT commercial. About as much as I believe that Chuck Norris does not wear a rug, and a cheap one to boot.
Camp Skylark. Prue stands at the shore end of the dock. The white lighters and docile Ps encourage her to "just focus on the demon." I'm finding it hard to focus on anything but the fact that Shannen Doherty's cut-offs are unbuttoned and the waistband is pulled down. What's up with that? Anyway, Grizzly says aloud that he "forgot how good this feels." Huh? Like what? Watching a Halliwell die? Oh, I guess he means demon-fighting, because he joins Prue on the dock. He adds, "Let's go face our demons," and the dock collapses under the weight of a forty-ton anvil, sealing his and Prue's doom. Actually, the dock stays intact and they walk out to the edge. Prue grabs the jumper cables and gives her dramatic monologue: "Here I am! Come and get me! You took what mattered most to me, and as long as I live, you will never kill again!" Before she can add, "As God as my witness," dig up a radish and retch, the Not! Ness Monster churns up the water and emerges before her. Leo and the docile Ps freak and call out to her. Prue turns around to look at them. Piper and Phoebe run onto the dock. Piper turns and freezes Leo so he remains on shore. Grizzly screams, "No!" and runs over to place himself between the twenty-feet-tall, pretty decent CGI effect and Prue. Grizzly demands, "Not her! Take me!" The demon enters Grizzly. Grizzly grabs the power cables and tells Prue, "Now!" (If you're wondering how Grizzly is able to speak with his body full of water, so is Brak666. And so am I. And so are the other eight people still focused on the outcome of this plot.) Prue telekinetically throws the switch on the generator. The water demon evaporates out of Grizzly as he is electrocuted. Cue an extremely long and loquacious death scene for a man whose heart should have immediately stopped beating. Grizzly lies in Prue's arms and declares: "It's gone!" Piper unfreezes Leo and demands that he try to "heal" Grizzly, but he fails. Grizzly continues, "It's okay. It's time to go. I've done what I was meant to do. I kept it from happening. History won't repeat itself." The ghost of Patty Halliwell, wearing only a thin slip negligee, appears on the shore of the lake, and suddenly the mystery of Prue and Phoebe's inability to dress conservatively and appropriately is solved. Grizzly, STILL ALIVE, queries, "Patty?" Patty beams at him. Prue tells Grizzly to "say hi for me. For us." (Phew, quick save. For a minute there she almost appeared selfish while she ORDERED A DYING MAN AROUND.) The ghost of Grizzly appears next to Patty and they walk off onto the water, having sacrificed themselves for all our sins. You'd think the Ps, having set their dead mother up with a dead boyfriend, would be all happy now. But the camera pans away from them sitting on the dock with Grizzly's corpse, looking bummed.
Cut to an aerial shot of San Francisco Bay. Buckland Auction House. The mood is lightened with the unintentional hilarity of Prue strutting down the hallway in yet another god-awful ensemble: black stretch pants and this red short-sleeved polo button-front top that reminded me of the Dry-El commercial where the woman shrinks her sweater and gives it to her miniature dachshund to wear, except that Prue just stretched it on herself anyway instead of giving it to Kit the Cat so it shows off six inches of her midriff and fits poorly around the neck, and she has it unbuttoned so far that we see her lacy grey bra. Oh, and her hair is worn loose, except for this hunk around the crown that at first I thought was perhaps a yarmulke but is perhaps either some harsh back-combing or a fall that's pulled into a sectional bun/ponytail thing. So we have Prue walking down the hallway towards the camera in this get-up, and Jim Beam is sprayed all over my shirt front. She bursts into her office. Jack is sitting at her desk. She gives him a lecture about all of the hardships and hurdles she's faced at Buckland's, "including bosses who tried to kill her," and how "nothing he plans to do will surprise [her]." Cue a stunning reversal so predictable anthropologists believe it's part of the innate knowledge all primates possess at birth: Jack gives her the sale credit form to sign, and (natch) Prue's "surprised." She decides to take him out to dinner "as a thank you." Then she proposes her theory that some mixtures of "business and pleasure" might turn out "nasty" while some might turn out "fruitful." This sounds more like a Recipe for Disaster than a Lesson of the Day, but okay. Jack asks whether their relationship will turn out "nasty" or "fruitful" (no comment). Cosmo Girl Prue vamps Jack by telling him "that depends on how you do at dinner." Oy.