Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT P3 H2O
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 12.08.1999
Grizzly's cabin. The Ps break in. As Phoebe enters, she Elmer Fudds, "Be vewy vewy quiet, we're hunting demons." No one, onscreen or in the viewing audience, laughs. The Ps start going through Grizzly's stuff. Criminal much? Prue finds a photo of Patty. The Ps all gape at this discovery. Then Prue finds a knee-high stack of newspaper clippings chronicling all of the drownings at the lake. What kind of parents (besides Susan Smith) would send their kids to this camp? Piper makes her own discovery: a "Teacher of the Year" certificate from New York, circa 1872, although the paper she holds up looks mighty new and crisp. Phoebe the mathematical genius figures: "That means Grizzly is either a demon or 127 years old." Sure, Pheebs -- he was teaching from the cradle, this one-year-old, youngest "Teacher of the Year" in New York history. Prue reminds the other Ps that Grizzly saved her from the Not! Ness Monster, so he must be a good guy. Piper then finds some letters Grizzly wrote and received from their mother. She pockets them. Suddenly Leo "Dim As A Forty" Wyatt "Bulb" orbs onto the scene, telling the Ps to book out of there before Grizzly comes back. The Ps refuse, because I guess staying there and taking the opportunity to second-guess and backtalk Leo is well worth the risk of getting caught trespassing. Prue gets her bitch on and demands to know why Leo's there. Does he know something about Grizzly? Leo explains that Grizzly was "Patty's white lighter." Piper and the other Ps express shock. Y'all know what a "white lighter" is, right? Because there are probably new viewers out there who are thinking Grizzly was Patty's disposable Bic or something.
Dear Radio Shack: Please fire your ad agency. Teri Hatcher and Howie Long couldn't convince me to purchase dialysis if I suffered from renal failure. Sincerely yours, Owen.
Outside Grizzly's cabin, near the lake. Long boring scene. I zone out some of the dialogue due to my shock at seeing some of the actors shedding their vanity by allowing shooting in full daylight. Especially Ms. Doherty and Mr. Krause, who look like they've lived every day twice. Leo explains that after Patty's death, Grizzly cut off his testi -- er, clipped his wings and became mortal. Phoebe whines about Grizzly failing to protect their mother, since it was his job. Then Piper wails on Leo for never telling the sisters that Grizzly existed. If I were Leo, I would have orbed out of the Halliwells' lives for good by now; not a show has gone by this season without Leo showing up to help them and one of the sisters crouching down and depositing the equivalent of a four-shot cappuccino all over the guy. To her credit, Prue puts the docile Ps back on task by reminding them about their mission to stop the water demon. Leo suggests that Piper and Phoebe go back to the city to look up the demon in the Book of Shadows. Phoebe: "Said like an unfeeling professional. This is personal to us." Shut up, Phoebe. Piper adds: "Leo doesn't do personal anymore. He just does his job." Shut up, Piper. And try to remember WHO SUGGESTED THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP BECOME STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL IN THE FIRST PLACE. Leo: "I guess there's no other reason for me to be around." He orbs off. Good for him. With Leo gone, Phoebe starts to lay into Prue again about her denial issues, but the screams of Mrs. J interrupt her.